The year in Broketown: The top 10 Brokelyn stories of 2016

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If you need us, we’ll be hiding in this Greenpoint igloo for all of 2017.

Oh 2016, how do we describe you? You were the stinky person at the end of the empty subway car we got on before realizing too late why it was empty; you were the rent increase that came just a month after our health insurance cost increased, you were the vomit that fell from the Cyclone directly into our ice cream cone, you were the year we had to keep attending dance parties for beloved musical icons who kept dying and you were the year we had to deal with the alt-right and literal effing skinheads in Brooklyn.

But for all it was, it was far from all bad, especially here in Broketown: in 2016, our friends behind Brooklyn’s beloved Punderdome created a home game that became an instant best-seller, we saw New Yorkers rise up in righteous, protective indignation at terror attacks and people who would narc out bodega cats, and we saw some canny Brooklynites use the blizzard as an opportunity to become amateur igloo hoteliers. We may have played our meanest April Fool’s Day prank yet, but at least know that we trolled Donald Trump’s phone number for a solid day. Here are the top 10 most-read Brokelyn stories of 2016:

10. The coolest rental in Brooklyn this weekend was a $200/night igloo (Jan. 25)

When some saw only white during the blizzard last winter, these savvy Greenpoint dudes saw green: They made an igloo and listed it for rental on Airbnb. It didn’t last long, but it lasted just long enough for them to become heroes on the internet.

9. Why some Brooklynites ditched the Big Apple for the Big Easy (Feb. 26)

What makes people leave Brooklyn for New Orleans? Besides the weather and drinking in the streets, of course. We sent a reporter down to Louisiana to talk to some ex-pats about why they made the move.

8. 7 tattoo shops with cheap Friday the 13th tattoos (May 12)

A Brokelyn constant throughout the years: Our readers love cheap tattoos.

7. 18 Brooklyn brunch spots with unlimited drink specials (Jan. 12)

A Brokelyn constant throughout the years: Our readers love getting very drunk at brunch.

6. Hamilton’s cast is doing a free show at Prospect Park’s Broadway series this summer! (April Fool’s Day)

Sorry if we got your hopes up, but at least we all helped drive up Donald Trump’s phone bill for the day.

5. The CDC’s new alcohol guidelines for women, updated for men (Feb. 28)

The CDC issued controversial drinking guidelines for women this year; our graphic artist said “here, fixed it for you” and made his own version for men.

4. Brooklyn is the ‘Most Unaffordable Place to Live’ in America (Sept. 29)

Brooklyn earned the yearbook superlative it never wanted. Let’s go for best smile next year, maybe?

3. PSA: Don’t narc out bodega cats on Yelp or you will be furiously mocked (Oct. 25)

An important lesson of 2016: Do not fuck with bodega cats or the internet will come. for. you.

2. One tweet that perfectly sums up being a New Yorker during a terror scare (Sept. 19)

A bomb went off in Chelsea on a Saturday night. When it was later revealed that other bombs intended to go off were incidentally disabled while guys were trying to steal the bags, New Yorkers’ collective response was: See? Don’t mess with us, we’re nuts.

1. Puns against humanity: Brooklyn’s beloved Punderdome is now a home card game! (Jan. 28)

Punderdome, hosted by Fred and Jo Firestone, has been holding sold-out shows at Littlefield for more than five years now; this year it branched out into the home game market and pun lovers worldwide immediately went nuts for it. Leave Cards Against Humanity in the garbage year of 2016 where it belongs.

Stay up with this and other important Brokelyn news in the new year: Subscribe to Brokelyn today!

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