Pointless amusement

5 silver linings as our public transit infrastructure actively collapses around us

So far this month, an A train derailed injuring over 30 people and tearing a door off a car, F train riders were trapped in steamy darkness for more than 40 minutes before attempting to pry subway doors open with their bare hands, walking through tunnels on the tracks has become a more efficient way of getting to work than relying on the MTA to deliver you, and soon the L, 2, 3, and M lines, among others, will see significantly reduced service as construction projects and repairs commence. The New York Post said it best: It took 50 years for the MTA to totally screw up the subway, and now it’s in ruins.

It’s a bad situation with no easy fix. Of course, there are a number of ways to actually effect change: there’s an emergency rally to fund & fix the subway tonight, hosted by the Riders Alliance; you can go on a letter writing campaign,  you can hold your politicians accountable. These are all things you can and should do. It’s also, if significantly less important, though, to appreciate the cynical and sarcastic comedic material at our disposal as victims of a crumbling public transit system. So hang your head and weep and maybe actually take a few of these silver linings to heart.


Cardboard cutout Cuomo, a classic. Photo via Riders NY
Cardboard cutout Cuomo, a classic. Photo via Riders NY

5. Your typical train is toast, and it was the only line that could get you anywhere near your destination. Now what? Get out of your comfort zone! What better way to learn about other, wildly inconvenient parts of New York then to be forced to walk and ride through them. Maybe you’ll even be forced to explore New Jersey or Staten Island. Oh the joy.

4. Trying to break into the local journalism industry, which is collapsing even faster than our infrastructure? Walk the tracks to work, or even better, your own graduation or wedding, and pitch it to us. We’d be happy to publish any and all accounts you have which are relevant and dangerous. You can reach us at tips[at]brokelyn[dot]com. Get in on this trend and pad your resume.

3. Extra anger = more fury-fueled anti-Cuomo poetry. The spin the bottle-like blame game going on among our elected officials often ends pointing at Cuomo as the one who needs to kiss some ass and fix this mess. Rage is a scary emotion, so channel it into haikus and sonnets about our Governor.


2. Even more opportunity to overcome your claustrophobia. The subway has always been a tight-packed, sweaty environment inherently consisting of strangers shoving together in a cramped space. Now it’s worse than ever! Talk about baptism by fire. As pricey as its getting, a MetroCard swipe is still cheaper than therapy, and the way this country’s healthcare situation is going that’s not going to change anytime soon.

1. More delayed trains means more time to get through summer reading material! There are few better motivators to finish that paperback you’ve been schlepping around in your backpack for two months than being trapped underground without Wi-Fi. That is, of course, assuming “signal problems” don’t cause your car to lose electricity and be sucked into a void of incompetence.

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