1. East River Park goes black and white with a free showing of The Artist (Monday)
2. Mellow Pages welcomes poet Matt Cook, who has a collection of poems about how he doesn’t need to prove anything to you (Monday)
3. Greenlight Books takes their turn at Books Under the Bridge, with poets Sharon Olds and Edward Hirsch (Monday)
4. You can head to Coney Island and catch a free show from Babyface (Monday)
5. Or hit up another part of Coney to catch the child killing fever of the The Hunger Games (Monday)
6. Powerhouse Arena hosts a reading for a book about a young literary superstat and his active life between the sheets. Just like your life, right? (Tuesday)
7. Learn to be a successful urban gardener, like your mother’s been nagging you about, at Brooklyn Bridge Park (Tuesday)
8. Or take some notes on plant DNA at the Secret Science Club, so you can finally perfect that creepy human/daisy hybrid you’ve been working on in your basement (Tuesday)
9. The Romney Years is “a psychedelic dark comedy set in the woods of Pennsylvania,” premiering at Cantina Royal. Not a Daniel Stern-narrated coming-of-age show about growing up in an alternate universe run by the Romney family (Wednesday)
10. A free tour about the craziness surrounding the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge. And if you believe that, we’ve got a bridge we could…ah, never mind (Wednesday)
11. Show off your salsa moves when the Paulo Stagnaro Quartet plays the Brooklyn Public Library’s Plaza Swing Series. Or, show up early, learn some salsa moves and then act like you’ve known how to dance all along (Wednesday)
12. I’m a loner Dottie. A rebel. There are things about me you wouldn’t understand. Couldn’t understand. At least without seeing Pee Wee’s Big Adventure at SummerScreen. Then you’d probably understand (Wednesday)
13. Emily Gould speaks with a young man about his novel, about being an asshole online. Obviously it’s fiction. Everyone is just so nice on the internet (Thursday)
14. Babeland says cyclists are sexy, so show up for complimentary oral sex bike maintenance courtesy of Ride Brooklyn (Thursday)
15. Watch Bruce Lee kick and punch the ever living shit out of a bunch of goobers who aren’t Bruce Lee, in Enter the Dragon at Brooklyn Bridge Park (Thursday)
16. Live talk show Late Night Basement booked a big guest this week: your boyfriend, friendly neighborhood Canadian Pat Kiernan. Leave the hair doll you made of him at home. God, what is wrong with you? (Friday)
17. Myspace gets celebrated ironically at a party at The Bell House, while the creators of Friendster see it sit unloved thinking, “We made a social network just a shitty, where our party?” (Friday)
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