If you remember last year’s coverage of the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant, you’ll remember that one of the Sex Kittens on hand was so taken with the winner of the contest that she gave him an unplanned smooch after he was crowned King of the Tiny Penises. How will organizers top that this year when the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest returns to Kings County on June 14? Two sisters have just volunteered to go on an all-expenses-paid date in Bushwick with the winner of the contest. Who needs Tinder when you can find love, or at least lust, like this?
According to a press release, the two sisters, who are as of now keeping their names secret, will go out for a night on the town in Bushwick with whoever wins the pageant. This is in addition to the cash prize that you win, which you won’t even have to spend on the date, because it’s all-expenses-paid.
Considering all the good things to eat and drink in Bushwick, we can think of worse things to do than showing our dick to a hooting crowd for an all-expenses-paid date, so if you weren’t already comfortable with having a small penis, now’s the time to be proud of it.
After all, look at what one of the sisters, known only as “R” has to say about your prospects: “We like guys without a huge ego, who are confident about who they are as a whole person, not just because of one part of their body.” Presumably that’s you, because confidence is the key to winning the contest.
If you want to win a date with these lovely ladies, all you need to do is send an email to SPB.Brooklyn [AT] gmail.com and let the organizers know that you want to enter. Oh, and you also need to have a small penis, because we’re sure with the higher stakes for this year’s pageant, the consequences are even higher for showing up and waving a big dick around like some kind of taunt.