Brokelyn's summer bucket list

Like your Google history, your bucket list can reveal a lot of entrenched secrets lodged deep in your soul, secrets which, without such telling sources of information, could require decades of therapy to discover. For instance, the bittersweet bucket list of one 17-year-old Pittsburgh girl (discovered in an Urban Outfitters dressing room and posted to Twitter) includes such nostalgic goals as “give 2 blow jobs,” “get crossfaded 17 times,” and “8 hoe pics for Instagram.” There’s also ambitious bullet points like, “buy 7 bikinis,” and “tie a message to a balloon and let it go.” Also, a really good travel tip if you’re ever in Pittsburgh, “Randyland.” For real, I’ve met Randy and Randyland is great, visit if you find yourself in the area.

My friends, friend found this in an Urban Outfitters dressing room… make this go viral pic.twitter.com/27u9s2jyfA

— SS (@scorpiosars) July 14, 2017

Then there’s the New York Times’ Summer Bucket List of a 35-Year-Old Woman, which truly spans race and class to propose such truly universal bucket list bullet points as, “Agree to birthday drinks even if they are in Bed Stuy. Buck up and don’t take a cab this time,” “Maybe consider trying half an Ecstasy pill,” and “Put ‘tfw’ definition on a Post-it note so you don’t have to Google it every time.” Does this mean that if we’ve popped more molly than we can count, use TFW frequently, and live in Bed Stuy we’re way ahead of the Times’ standards for 35-year-olds?

Bucket lists are personal (although probably not quite as much as your Google history), bucket lists are useful, and bucket lists are especially great if you can’t afford a therapist and need help isolating your goals, for the day and for life. Here’s ours:

Pop my karaoke singing cherry
Pop someone else’s Cyclone riding cherry
Put a picture of my butt on Instagram at least once – Bobby Hankinson
Finish my movies to watch list
Take a kayak out on the East River – Isaac Anderson
Get a slice of key lime pie from Steve’s (Red Hook – actually, free kayaking down that way, too) – Isaac
Go to a nude beach
Learn how to make a meme
Make it to a daytime outdoor dance party, e.g. Mister Sunday – Isaac
Go camping at Floyd Bennett Field
Surf the Rockaways – Isaac
Ride EVERY ride at Coney Island – Natalie Wall
Befriend someone with a backyard pool in Brooklyn, or at least get invited to their house
Finish all the coupons in my Beer Books (this is not a shameless plug, I am low-key obsessed with my free drank coups)
Go on a foraging tour of Prospect Park
Go to Governor’s Island– Isaac
Make and use DIY shampoo
Go a day without my phone
Experience a tiny house
Travel to all five boroughs in one day