Lousy millennials refuse to rack up credit card debt

samuel l jackson capital one
Samuel L. Jackson will come intimidate each and every millennial until they stop paying their balances on time.

Millennials, guys, they’re just the worst, right? If they’re not forcing highly processed foodstuffs like Hot Pockets to at least appear to be made of real food, they’re not buying cars (because the cars are full of spiders). Everything they do is changing one cherished American tradition or another, and now according to Bloomberg News, they’re not even racking up awesomely irresponsible amounts of credit card debt. They DO know that’s the last thing keeping the economy moving, right?

According to Bloomberg, more thanĀ half of credit card holders between ages 21 and 26 pay their credit card balance back every month, leaving America’s credit card debt “stagnant” and forcing banks to scrape by collecting less and less interest. Millennials pay their balance off in bigger number than Gen X and Baby Boombers, two generations who appreciate the fact that it’s your duty as an American to enrich banks by racking up debt by buying shiny crap you won’t use in a couple months.

Even worse, two in five millennials say that actually bother to take advantage of their credit cards’ rewards programs. That means banks are going to have to actually start offering better rewards in the future, ones that could cut into their profit margins. Thank god the oceans are gonna wipe us out in a generation or two, because we can’t take much more of these responsible young people who refuse to live fast and die young.


  1. Tellingly, this is how the wealthy admit to using their own cards, to pay monthly bills which they then immediately pay off to build and maintain a clean credit history. They aren’t stupid enough to pay a 24% apr for no reason. The general public isn’t supposed to be savvy enough to properly utilize the system.
    Millennials know a 160k degree won’t land them a better job, demonstrated work will. That a 45k car is just as poorly made as a 12k one, and that renting is an endless money hole. The problem with all these entitled little bastards is that they’re too well informed, and see the machine for what it is.

Leave a Reply