If there’s one problem with Williamsburg, beyond the fact that your mom lives there, it’s expensive, it has kind of bitchy neighbors and it’s a death trap, is that the neighborhood just isn’t cool. Finally though, purveyors of super cool Mitt Romney t-shirts and Rick Santorum political donations Urban Outfitters, are blessedly giving the neighborhood a dose of a cool with their store opening on Friday. It’s not just your normal Urban Outfitters though. This place is gonna be five floors of cool chewed up by account executives and lovingly thrown up back at you, like a mother bird feeding a baby bird.
Where else could you get your $48 beard oil?
Or a romper from “Young, Fabulous & Broke” that costs $255? You’re mostly paying for the irony. We think.
The store’s five floors will include the place where you shop for Urban Outfitters’ ridiculous clothing, a restaurant/bar, basement pop-up shops (because everyone loves basements!) and apparently, per the Village Voice, a vintage shop. Because while Brooklyn doesn’t have a shortage of vintage shops, it does have a dangerous lack of corporate ideas of what a vintage store is. Basically, the store will be the place where you drop your friend who hates to walk but wants to “see Williamsburg,” and leave them there while you go out and enjoy things.
Plus, now you won’t have to wait for shipping to get things like a $32 mesh (mesh!) tanktop that says “212” on it.
Or books with “cheeky” takes on things you loved when you were a kid, but now explain how hard it is be a middle class twentysomething.
Or even a $44 Grateful Dead sweatshirt that you could just steal from your dad. If you still talked to your him, that is. But you don’t,because you’re urban now,and you left your family behind.