Ready to get sexy?

Hey there sad sexy person, are you still bummed you missed out on your chance to razzle dazzle the world at the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant? Well, dry those tears but make sure everything else is all wet and squishy, because the first-ever NYC Porn Film Festival is coming to (of course) Bushwick from February 28 to March 1 and they want submissions from you. No, the video kind of submissions, not the…well, if you make it good enough than yes, they also want that other kind of submission from you too.

We know, you’re thinking, “The first NYC Porn Film Festival? This never happened in Times Square back in the good old days?” Well apparently it never did, so you could be the first person ever to go home with La Bite D’or, or whatever they’re gonna be giving out as a prize. The Huffington Post talked with Simon Leahy of host venue Secret Project Robot, who told the site that the festival is about trying to “spark the next sexual revolution” by dealing head-on with society’s kind of schizophrenic attitudes towards sex.

To that end, according to their press release, the NYC Porn Film Festival organizers are looking for any and all kinds of porn imaginable, but especially messy porn (“wet, dirty, splosh, food,paint, water, mud”), sci-fi/future porn (“cyborg, robot, machine, space, alien, post-human, android”), movement porn (“bodies, dance,choreography”) and animated porn (“stop motion,drawing, tabus, manga, non-human, zombie, super hero”). You can also submit an idea for a talk or panel, as they’ll be looking at subjects like the history of porn and its social impact. As it’s Brooklyn, they’re especially keen if you submit DIY or homemade porn.

Submissions are free, and you have until January 10, which means you have a little time to think about what you want to do. If you have and idea and you want to get it in (the festival) shoot an email to nycpornfilmfestival [AT] gmail.com to see exactly what their guidelines are, before you go making a mess and shooting your wad off everywhere. Not that that doesn’t happen to everyone sometimes.

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