Mourning always looks better in black and white. via Flickr user Alexander Rabb

Haven’t you heard? Our once beloved borough is dead, and all we got was this lousy fair-trade, organic t-shirt. The death knell has rang over and over for many of our favorite Brooklyn venues and clubs, so a moment of silence for those dearly departed: 285 Kent, Public Assembly, Pyramids, Southpaw, Studio B, Savalas, Royal Oak, Supreme Trading, Luna Lounge, Luxx, Death by Audio and Glasslands.

Instead of crying into our kombucha, we may as well raise a glass in memoriam at Brooklyn is Dead: Feeling Gloomy’s Tribute to when Brooklyn was Painfully Hip.

Equal parts dance party and funeral, The Grand Victory (one of the last unicorns) will be hosting the somber soiree, and they’re rolling out the memorial decor to prove it. Gordon and Nathaniel Gloom will act as Brooklyn’s eulogists, playing Brooklyn-centric indie rock, dancepunk and electro from the good old days before Catey Shaw think-pieces and T-Swiftgate 2014.

“Dress to depress,” put on your waterproof mascara and your boogie shoes, and be prepared to laugh-cry your way through the night on November 15, 11pm at The Grand Victory (245 Grand St.). $6 at the door, $4 advanced here. Now go pay your respects.

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  1. Cool, does that mean that you (as in the author, Chelsea Leibow) are going to move somewhere else? That’s good news!

  2. i am so sorry that gentrification is a thing and that all of the lena dunham wannabes will have to find somewhere else. #rip

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