The 10 best ways to make the most of Scorpio season in Brooklyn

Pumpkin spice lattes be damned: From October 23 to November 21, it’s all about Scorpios. The passionate, edgy water sign known for being tenacious and lustful rules the timeframe with a feisty fist with no room for basic commodities. Real Scorpios would much prefer a cayenne hot toddy to a PSL any day. House of Yes is a perennial classic for the astrologically minded.

In honor of Scorpio season, we’ve rounded up the most astrologically aligned activities Brooklyn has to offer, from the borough’s best esoteric offerings to Scorpio-specific adventures. Even if you’re not a Scorpio or a Scorpio rising, you can still glomb onto the fun. Mercury’s not even going to be in retrograde once between now and when the Sagittarius’ takeover, so really, enjoy this very special, stubborn and sensual time to its fullest with these 10 Scorpiotastic BK goings ons:

1. Get in touch with your local astrological resources. Visit occult bookshop Catland (maybe even join their coven), have your spread read at the Tarot Society, and then get a Scorpio-themed cocktail at Mood Ring, all in Bushwick. May we suggest this unofficial anthem of Bushwick witches as your soundtrack.

3. Embrace the Scorpio attributes of being calm & collected af but also mysterious by boating with the North Brooklyn Boat Club.  Nothing says “look at me embracing my inarticulable emotional side” like voluntarily going out on open water. This Saturday the Boat Club is having a Haunted Cthulhu Canoe adventure, which is v on brand for Scorpios and Scorpio wannabes.

4. Back in Bushwick, House of Yes gives off some VERY strong Scorpio vibes and is hosting plenty of Scorp-friendly events this month and next. There’s a full moon celebration, a Halloween hangover curing-dance party, amateur burlesque, and even a night dedicated to bad behavior and being glamorous garbage – tres Scorpio.

5. The Union Hall basement is sooo brooding – just like you. Go see some comedy, play some bocce, find out if Ted Cruz’s grandma is also a Scorpio, and get a drink.

6. We’re not totally sure who the Bone Witch is but this website is highly esoteric and aligns well with every Scorpio’s enigmatic qualities. For $5, you can go on an audio adventure in Prospect Park; for $1 you can get in contact with Baba Yaga in your very own bathroom. Let us know how it goes, and definitely hit us up at [email protected] if the Baba Yaga shows up or you discover a portal in Prospect.

7. Being so dang sultry all the time can be exhausting – treat your Scorpio self to what is arguably the most exclusive bar in New York, and also a Bushwick supply closet. From the creator of that speakeasy water tower in Chelsea and also the Domino Sugar Refinery scavenger hunt, Threesome Tollbooth will run you $100 – $120 per person and grant you entrance into a closet as well as an intimate cocktail tasting.

8. This list wouldn’t be complete without Gemini & Scorpio Loft, the secretive Gowanus venue known for hosting the most wholesome sex parties in New York as well as plenty of less kinky affairs. The address isn’t on their website, but they’ll send it to you upon RSVP.

9. Even if you’re not a Scorpio, after hanging out with MODEL Scorpio and Brokester Bobby Hankinson you’re gonna start acting like one. Go check out his big gay comedy show, Kweendom, on Friday, November 17 at 7pm at Pete’s Candy Store in Williamsburg. Don’t forget to wish him a happy belated.

10. Many of the Real Housewives, even the ones who don’t have a Scorpio sun sign, embody certain less positive Scorp traits, like resentment, jealousy, and a knack for manipulation. Go checkout paintings of Real Housewives Pointing Finges at where but the THNK1994 museum in Crown Heights.

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