1. Check out a play at the Irondale Ensemble in which the author claims that everything in life he needs to know he learned from zombies. Hopefully not full of diet tips (Friday)
2. Or watch some animated shorts at Videology and drink $3 Sixpoint beers. Don’t worry, it’s normal to see pink cartoon elephants in this case (Friday)
3. Use our badgeless Northside guide to get all the free music you can shake a stick at. And then put down the stick, it’s disconcerting (Friday – Sunday)
4. Take a tour of the city’s secret sugar history in DUMBO, eat some sweet things, make your dentist rich (Saturday)
5. Go to the Pine Box Rock Shop’s summer-themed vegan shop-up. Despite the fact that the government weather machines are depriving of us of summer at the moment (Saturday)
6. If you go to one Northside show you have to pay for, we recommend the one at Brooklyn Fireproof, because we’re big fans of Gunfight! and The Suzan (Saturday)
7. The Cobra Club celebrates surviving one year in the brutal cutthroat world of the Brooklyn bar scene. We’re not even kidding, there’s so many bars that making it for a year is an accomplishment (Saturday)
8. Presentation Party Night wants to teach you about Occupy Gezi and chickens. Possibly how much fun it was to screw with the chickens in The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening (Sunday)
9. It’s Father’s Day, so why not hear some words about daddies put together by our own Karina Briski? It’s going down at the Greta Gerwig-approved Palace Cafe! (Sunday)
10. Jo Firestone is branching out from the Punderdome, this time with Bullshit History, a game at Freddy’s in which drunk people bullshit about little-known historical events. Well, they don’t have to be drunk, but it’ll probably help (Sunday)
11. National Lampoon’s Vacation is playing at Habana Outpost, as a reminder that your family isn’t nearly as screwed up as the Griswolds (Sunday)
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