Yelp ratings say Brooklyn’s food scene is over

Recently, Yelp released its 2015 list of “Top 100 Places to Eat in the U.S.”, and we were mighty surprised to see that only a few places in New York—none of which are in Brooklyn—made the cut. For the love of all that is Traif, in the name of Roberta’s, what does this mean? Has New York finally lost its foodie luster and been reduced to the likes of mediocre drive-through towns, with nothing but corporate eateries and a few white tablecloths to show for all its growing pains?

Our Brokelyn research team has been exhausting its resources around the clock since the list surfaced, trying to figure out what went wrong. Last year’s Yelp roundup included two of our boroughs’ beloved bodegas, but this year’s couldn’t even spare us a measly pizza shoutout.  Maybe it’s because we took from the rich and gave to the poor. Maybe it’s because we started getting too experimental. Or maybe it was just the imminent abolition of our singular takeout icon. Whatever the case, it’s clear we done wrong, because the internet’s eminent food roundup site said, “That’s it. You can’t sit with us.”

Oh well. We guess if Brooklyn’s food scene isn’t hot anymore, that means we’ll have all these cheap Michelin-approved, BYOB, hip-hop referencing, Anthony Bourdain favorites all to ourselves. We don’t know how we’ll console ourselves (maybe with some chicken and waffles).

Follow Sam for more daily affirmations at @ahoysamantha. 

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