Heating up what would otherwise be just another cold horrible winter slog, the NYC Porn Film Festival is coming to Bushwick at the end of February, promising all sorts of sexxxy porn submissions made by people just like us. As if that wasn’t enough, the organizers let word drop while talking to Bedford + Bowery that Miley Cyrus, who’s totally a grown up and knows how to be sexy has a secret video project premiering at the smut festival. Bets are now open for whether it’s going to be called “Pussy in the U.S.A.” or “Wrecking Balls.”
Festival organizers were pretty tight-lipped as to what it is exactly Cyrus will be doing at the festival, beyond saying that she had a submission they were excited about which leaves you free wildly speculate about what kind of wet and dirty thing she’s planning on. Of course, given the wide range of pornography available to the American public at any given time, the only people shocked by this are going to be moms who think Cyrus should still be living like she’s Hannah Montana and Us Weekly cover and headline writers, who won’t really be shocked but will pretend to be so they can use exclamation points.
It seems somehow fitting that Brooklyn is where Miley debuts her first pornography, considering it was at the Barclays Center where she first showed us that she knows was sexy was (dry humping a man almost twice your age who’s wearing a Beetlejuice suit) and somehow shocked America, which had never seen this kind of behavior from its pop starlets before. Ever. Oh, we thought of another couple of titles for the video: “We Can’t Stop (Doing Sex)” and “Do My Thang (In the Butt).”
[UPDATE]: The killjoy jerks at the Post ruined the surprise and it’s going to be some lame fake-o bondage thing with no nudity. And while that may be what’s really happening, we’re going to keep living in a world where Miley Cyrus starred in a porno called “Wrecking Balls.”
Related Articles
Phil’s is a hidden gem on Knickerbocker
Serving up punchy drinks and classic cocktails.
Heavy metal yoga in a Bushwick bar saved my soul
I find that going to yoga is a lot like going to the post office: Sometimes you just can’t avoid it, but […]
Be “Irish” in your own borough: St. Patrick’s Day Guide for BK
Interested in parading around Manhattan in cheap, metallic shamrocks while drunk? Check this list.
3 Comments
Leave a Reply
those killjoy jerks sound like the wurst
Stuff ’em in a sack and throw it in the ocean, that’s what I say
UMMM why haven’t we mentioned “The Bone Dance”
simple, unmodified montana