Hey guys, you hear that Usher is curating the Macy’s 4th of July fireworks extravaganza? Big news, huh? A big time
Justin Bieber life coach entertainer creating the fireworks show in his image. We can’t wait to not see it! Right, not see it, because one again, Macy’s is giving goddamn New Jersey the fireworks.
It baffles us as to why the headline on the story announcing Usher’s curation isn’t “Macy’s Continues Stealing Fireworks Display From Most of New York.” Probably because it’s a clunky headline. But Macy’s flipping off Brooklynites, Queensians and everyone on the East Side of Manhattan by having the fireworks on the Hudson River is becoming an annual tradition on par with Restaurant Week pretending Brooklyn is a fiery hellhole with no eateries. Clearly last year’s petition asking Macy’s to give us back our goddamn fireworks didn’t work.
Which is why Brokelyn is calling on whoever wins the next mayoral election, Democrat or (unlikely) Republican, to do everything in their power to make Macy’s pay for this. Schedule a bunch of endless sidewalk construction in front of their flagship store, send building inspectors to find the smallest violations, hell blockade the Hudson with NYPD boats on July 3. Whatever it takes to give New Yorkers back the fireworks we so clearly deserve.
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