Look, we understand that change is intrinsic to New York, and we know we weren’t going to have all of our favorite places forever, because that’s just life. Still, even if we accept losing Spike Hill and the cheap/free music and performances it housed, it doesn’t mean we don’t have to quietly accept the awful, bland rendering that’s being proposed in its place. There’s no law against us sitting here and saying “Goddamn that building is so boring, it’s the architectural equivalent of a small Pinkberry in a cup, with no toppings.”
We’ll admit to not being architecture students, but the rendering, shared via Racked, is just sad and generic, a Main Street facade with all the charm of “The Related Companies present ‘BROOKLYN.'” According to a Wall Street Journal story behind a paywall, developer RedSkyCapital is planning on turning the former Spike Hill into a two-floor retail space that is the building equivalent of those creepy airbrush jobs done on models that makes you think they’ve got nothing but smooth parts under their bikini briefs.
There’s no word yet on who’ll be taking over the space, but if we had to put money on it, we’d bet a hybrid Banana Republic/Eddie Bauer that “pays tribute” to Brooklyn by displaying Karen O or Tunde Adebimpe in a glass case in the middle of the store.
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