The drunk brigade of frat bros in holiday garb will stay where they belong this weekend: Midtown. SantaCon organizers told Patch that this year’s dreaded bar crawl will take place safely across the river from Brooklyn. The crawl will start around 10am this Saturday, December 9, at the James A. Farley Post Office at 421 8th Ave. The hallowed structure, a standout institution in the hellscape of middle Manhattan, will be belittled to the meeting point for tasteless shenanigans.
While the world would be a better place if SantaCon didn’t exist, it does, but at least this year the outer boroughs have not only been spared its vomit-breathed fury, but so have the more redeemable portions of Manhattan. Truly, Midtown is the most apt and merciful location for the booze convention. May it remain in Midtown forever more, and may no beer get on anyone’s mail.
If you due, for some reason, NEED to be in Midtown on Saturday, we highly recommend you at least skim our SantaCon survival guide, and Godspeed. SantaCon 2014.