Avoid Michael Myers and 25 other things to do this weekend

'Tis the season
‘Tis the season

1. Missed the whiskey tasting last week? Well good news: there’s a whole new opportunity for you to drink a lot of whiskey and still seem cultured (Friday)

2. An open mic at Launchpad is the perfect opportunity for you to finally share your epic poem about what you think would happen if Bruce Wayne had the Iron Man suit instead of Tony Stark (Friday)

3. Pine Box is hosting a variety show with comedy and dance and music, all the standard stuff. Oh, and a contest where the best twerker gets $100 (Friday)

4. Check out a book launch for The Rockaways, a series of photo essays about Rockaway after Sandy. Should be more tasteful than that Brooklyn Industries lookbook (Friday)

5. It’s vampire season, so spend some time with a person who kills them at the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV party (Friday)

6. It’s a good old fashioned Brooklyn murder mystery! Sorry, a book release about a fictional Brooklyn murder mystery, no one is actually dead (Friday)

7. Dr. Bloodbath is just your usual 70s outsider art horror film with terrible acting about a doctor who performs abortions than kills the women who needed one. Ho hum, when will Hollywood think of something new? (Friday)

8. Check out all the art happening at Gowanus Open Studios (Friday – Sunday)

9. CMJ is still happening, and that means you have all these fantastic free shows left to go to! (Friday – Sunday)

10. Fall means it’s time to celebrate the harvest, and no better way to do that than with a harvest festival (Saturday)

11. Hang out down by the PS 9 pumpkin patch and buy a pumpkin to carve up real nice. Because The Great Pumpkin Loves you (Saturday)

12. Celebrate street food at Smorgasburg with Greenlight Books and author Jacqueline Goossens, who wrote a whole book about it (Saturday)

13. Use the magic of The Machines to bring your Jack’o’lantern into the 21st Century at Pixel Academy (Saturday)

14. Or show your pumpkin skills off at Crest Hardware’s annual pumpkin carving deathmatch contest (Saturday)

15. An interactive art show where the artist actually talks to you means that you’ve got to raise your game from putting your chin in your hand and going “Hmmmm” (Saturday)

16. Spooky Halloween cartoons from the 20s, 30s and 40s let you see how your grandparents stared at a screen for Halloween when they were your age (Saturday)

17. Feeling Gloomy is turning 4 and they’re feeling sad about it of course, so go dance to cheer them up (Saturday)

18. Red Hook’s Screwball Studios isn’t in Gowanus, but they also invite you down to check out all the cool art they’ve been making. And when was the last time you were in Red Hook? (Saturday – Sunday)

19. Gristle is hosting a brunch to help BARC get a new kennel floor, and you love dogs and brunch, so this is kind of a slam dunk, no? (Sunday)

20. Glasses broken? Our too. Get them fixed for free at a party in Williamsburg devoted to fixing glasses (Sunday)

21. The Brooklyn Symphony Orchestra opens its 40th season of people taking dates to symphony performances to look smart and cultured. So bring a date! (Sunday)

22. Dr. Sketchy’s Art School is having their last New York class, so stop on by to doodle and think deep thoughts about death and the permanence of art (Sunday)

23. Bring your kid to Brooklyn ARTery and learn them how to make a decent toy out of felt or cardboard. Then it’s one last piece of crap plastic thing you need to buy (Sunday)

24. Is it time to eat all the apple pie? If you go to Enid’s, then yes, yes it is (Sunday)

25. The Manhattan Inn is hosting a vintage items auction that even you can afford to partake in. Going once, going twice, SOLD! to the man with the ridiculous facial hair. No not you, the person next to you (Sunday)

26. Since they can’t show the blood-soaked story of murderous demon Walter White anymore, Halyards is switching it over to movies on Sunday, starting with the blood-soaked story of murderous demon Michael Myers in Halloween (Sunday)

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