03/03/16 4:24pm
What a great neighbor they are. via 1 North 4th Street

What a great neighbor they are. via 1 North 4th Street

In one form or another, the possibly years-long Lpocalypse is coming to Brooklyn soon, bringing with it hordes of L train riders needing a new train and hopefully the lesson that putting off transit improvements until a system is pushed to capacity and falling apart is maybe not the best idea. The shutdown is going to be hard on everyone who relies on the L train and also hard one everyone who relies on any L-adjacent trains that weren’t built for the kind of capacity L train spillover will bring. Fortunately, one of Williamsburg’s newest arrivals, luxury building 1 North 4th Place, is helping to make life easier for waterfront residents by offering a free shuttle from their building to the Marcy Avenue J/M/Z stop.

Considering all the time we’ve spent hating the gleaming waterfront towers sticking up over Williamsburg like Dennis Hopper’s high rise from Land of the Dead, this is a great gesture. A real gift to the community from a building that’s an almost physical representation of New York City’s income inequality problem. This is extremely nice of them, so be sure to take advantage of this generosity. (more…)

09/14/15 2:17pm
Imagine having to charge so little that only the merely rich, not the mega-rich live in your penthouse apartment. via StreetEasy

Imagine having to charge so little that only the merely rich, not the mega-rich live in your penthouse apartment. via StreetEasy

So many of the people who’ve come to Brooklyn in the last 15 years have come with big dreams in their overstuffed satchel bag they brought with them on the bus from Bumblefuck. Those dreams are so often chewed up in the city’s uncaring maw though, then shat out and left as fertilizer for other people’s dreams. The latest group of big dreamers now confronting just how tough it is to make in this concrete jungle where dreams are made from? Developers of luxury buildings, who are building so many shiny expensive buildings in Brooklyn that they might drive down the prices of these unit and not make so much money they can send their grandkids’ grandkids to Yale. (more…)

06/30/15 2:12pm
tk. via Flickr user Shawn Hoke

Buy! Or is sell? via Flickr user Shawn Hoke

Oh Lord what is even going on here with this?

[S]tocks may now be a little too trendy, just like the New York City borough that’s famous for a certain well-known bridge, Coney Island and for being the original home of the Dodgers.

“Stocks and Brooklyn real estate used to be cheap and unpopular; not anymore,” the Jefferies analysts wrote.

It used to be you couldn’t pay people to visit stocks. Now it’s all Eurotrash in all-black sweatsuits asking where the discotheque is.

They conclude that value stocks could be as up and coming as Brooklyn neighborhoods like Bushwick, Bed-Stuy and Crown Heights.

Stocks used to be blue collar strongholds where you could raise a family, even if outsiders thought they were “sketchy.” Now stocks are full of achingly attractive baristas who will mirthlessly take your order before handing you a $6 iced coffee and expecting a $2 tip.  (more…)

03/03/15 1:22pm
lena dunham la

Her new permanent wardrobe?

Around this time of year, when it feels like all hope is lost because winter’s icy grip won’t let you go (which is a lie because winter ends and there’s never any hope), the idea of just packing up and moving somewhere warmer can sound appealing. Of course, just picking your whole life up can be difficult, unless you’re fabulously wealthy like say Lena Dunham, who’s done with this Brooklyn bullshit and is decamping to L.A. (more…)

02/09/15 1:30pm

You’ll have to travel 3,600 miles to really get it

When we apartment hunt, we try to focus on the bright side, like how signs of puppy-sized rats are better than actual rats. Apparently, though, things are a little different for the other half (of a percent) when it comes to looking for a place to live. A condo in the affordable housing oasis that is Williamsburg is now offering anyone who buys a penthouse, loft, or townhouse a free trip to Amsterdam. Everything’s coming up rich people! (more…)

01/20/15 11:36am
OK, we'd pay $99 for a ride in this

OK, we’d pay $99 for a ride in this

Ah getting to the airport, the bane of the modern traveler’s existence. Well that and the security line. And the waiting around the board the plane. And the plane seats themselves. OK maybe it’s all really bad, but one of those bad things is getting to the airport. One well-off man used to riding helicopters, inspired by the plight of his friend in Guns ‘N Roses, told the New York Post he’s bringing “affordable” helicopter rides to the airport to the masses. So now for $99, you too can pretend to be Mike Bloomberg for a few minutes. (more…)

01/13/15 3:41pm
brook lopez face

Brook Lopez feels betrayed

Ever since they landed in Brooklyn, in their weird space egg of a stadium, the Nets have been committed to being part of the Brooklyn community. It’s why the food court is full of $10 slices of Junior’s cheesecake, it’s why they mirror your own miserable experience by dealing with their leaky roof with buckets and it’s why they’ve been sold like a hot real estate asset from almost the moment of their inception, with the team on the block just five years into the Mikhail Prokhorov era. And if you’ve got a spare $2 billion, they could be yours! (more…)

11/25/14 11:48am
link nyc

Maybe you can just set up a tent outside of one.

Hey, were you briefly excited about the city’s LinkNYC plan to turn our payphones into free Wi-fi hotspots, before stopping to think that this couldn’t possibly turn out to be as good as you hoped? Congratulations if you were cynical about this whole mess, because it turns out that poor neighborhoods are gonna start with slower Wi-fi speeds, and a look at a map shows that while huge swathes of Midtown and Times Square will be covered by this, outside of Manhattan will see a lot less free internet. (more…)

10/15/14 10:49am
Pierre Vergnes Saute Pan

It’s even signed! We mean, they’re all signed, but uh, hey, that’s gotta be worth something. Photo by Kenji Magrann-Wells

At the Brokelyn High Homecoming Dance that is rapidly approaching, there will be fun and games, large organized communities playing music, a talk show host, cheap beer and Brokelyn writers of notoriously little moral fiber. But that doesn’t matter. No, you didn’t come here to make friends (although you could and it would be a very great idea); you came to win a raffle. Yes, there are all sorts of amazing prizes available to win at the raffle this year, where two small dollars could get get you a very large bike, some tickets to some amazing shows, the definition of art and many other prizes. I, personally, would be playing for the $500 Pierre Vergnes Saute Pan though, courtesy of Brooklyn Kitchen. (more…)

10/06/14 4:16pm
105 Lexington Avenue #4G stairs

Grit. via BK to the Fullest

Hey remember the people who moved to Bed-Stuy from the Lower East Side and paid one million dollars for the privilege because Bed-Stuy had “grit?” Apparently Bed-Stuy’s grit didn’t have enough staying power for the couple to resist uh…South Carolina, and they’re selling the previously record-setting condo for $1.4 million, according to Brownstoner, which we imagine they’ll get. God’s judgement indeed. (more…)