Hey look, a chill luxury developer is offering a free shuttle during the Lpocalypse

What a great neighbor they are. via 1 North 4th Street
What a great neighbor they are. via 1 North 4th Street

In one form or another, the possibly years-long Lpocalypse is coming to Brooklyn soon, bringing with it hordes of L train riders needing a new train and hopefully the lesson that putting off transit improvements until a system is pushed to capacity and falling apart is maybe not the best idea. The shutdown is going to be hard on everyone who relies on the L train and also hard one everyone who relies on any L-adjacent trains that weren’t built for the kind of capacity L train spillover will bring. Fortunately, one of Williamsburg’s newest arrivals, luxury building 1 North 4th Place, is helping to make life easier for waterfront residents by offering a free shuttle from their building to the Marcy Avenue J/M/Z stop.

Considering all the time we’ve spent hating the gleaming waterfront towers sticking up over Williamsburg like Dennis Hopper’s high rise from Land of the Dead, this is a great gesture. A real gift to the community from a building that’s an almost physical representation of New York City’s income inequality problem. This is extremely nice of them, so be sure to take advantage of this generosity.

Brownstoner reports that 1N4th (whose cheapest apartment is a $3,500/month studio) has recognized that a 20-minute walk to the Marcy Ave. stop adds a lot of time to a commute and will be running a free shuttle from their building to the stop during peak hours on every weekday morning and evening during the L shutdown.

“…residents won’t miss a beat during an otherwise inconvenient time,” a representative of management company Douglaston Development told Brownstoner.

We all remember the shitshow that was San Francisco’s tech buses, the private shuttles for the city’s tech workers that caused so much agitation and became a flashpoint for the city’s class tensions. So there’s no way a building would flaunt its residents’ wealth with some kind of private shuttle, right? Oh wait hold on:

The shuttles, which will be contracted out, will pick up residents from a private driveway directly outside the front door, ensuring that only building residents get aboard. In a phone interview, Douglaston Development President Steven Charno noted it’d be “pretty obvious” if nonresidents tried to hitch a ride.

I’ll be “pretty obvious” who the non residents are? Oh, you mean if they try to go to this pretty obvious private driveway that will be the shuttle’s pick up point? Pretty obviously located right off Kent Avenue between North 4th and North 5th (identified further on this Google Map)?

via Facebook
via Facebook

Yeah that looks real hard to stand in and act totally natural when you’re in your work clothes. Or even in your regular skinny jeans trash person clothes. What’s someone gonna say, that you don’t look rich enough to live there? Look at how this building is marketing itself.

We say ride the bus. If anyone asks which apartment you live in, say 4E, and if they ask where you work tell them you’re at a startup that’s disrupting the carbonation industry:

“Yeah, we’re called Fzzly, we’re artisan bubble makers who donate one bottle of fizz to an under privileged person for everyone you purchase.” That and make sure you agree with your “neighbors” that you love living in Williamsburg, even if you’ve never actually walked through it.

Follow Dave as he rides other forms of class warfare transportation: @DaveCoIon.

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