When you’re out at the bar, or at the club, or at the dance party trying to get your goose fed, do you keep in mind that you should wrap that shit up? Be honest, this is a safe space. Also, we know you’re lying if you said that of course you do, because the Department of Health’s Community Health Survey for 2012 released its numbers a few months back, and 68.2% of the whole city said they didn’t use a condom when they last had sex. The leader of the pack? Greenpoint, where a staggering 85.8% of people decide to throw caution to the wind.
Now, we suppose we could cut some slack here, and account for married people and people in committed relationships who have a different form of birth control. But still, 85% Greenpoint? And you don’t want people to think that your neighborhood is basically just a real-life version Girls? You weren’t all just waiting for the free magnum-sized condoms, were you? Don’t forget, science claims it feels just as good to have sex with a condom. What are you, better than science?
Of course, it’s not like the rest of us are doing anything to knock down that citywide number of 68.2% of people not using condoms. In Williamsburg and Buhwick, the raw doggers come in at 70.8% of the sex-having population, Bay Ridge and Bensonhurst had 67.2% of their population putting off prophylactics and in Coney Island, 75.2% of the people having sex just shrugged and dove right in. We are one irresponsible city, so it’s a good thing there’s plenty of free tests for the morning after.