04/25/17 3:49pm
Photo by Yuliya Libkina / Flickr

Photo by Yuliya Libkina / Flickr

Cuffing season is over. Spring is in the air. Pheromones are fully excreting. Don’t look now, but your libido is showing, and it’s unsettling for the general public. Look, I get it. That liberating feeling of putting on your first “Suns Out Guns Out” tank top of the year makes you want to display all your affection to your new beau all over this gorgeous city we call Brooklyn.

But like, stop. We have unspoken rules, people. Rules that should be cherished. Cradled in your arms like a helpless newborn who’s only path to survival is you. Sounds dire? Because it is.

Jeopardizing yourself and your public hook-up pal will only lead to a “social Darwinism” style exile. No, we won’t make you shuffle on ice to your imminent death. But let’s just say this: middle schoolers will be involved, and they are fucking vicious. So buckle up, read the fine print, and you will be safe. Or don’t, and be sacrificed to a throng of youths. Dealers choice.

Read on and inform yourself on the best places to make out if you want the general public to tangibly hate you.


04/25/17 1:59pm


Neither time nor the sea nor a lack of funds will shut down Sunny’s Bar in Red Hook if Tone Balzano Johansen, widow of the late great Sunny Balzano, can help it.

Johansen has been fighting hard to keep the old-school Brooklyn holdout in existence since Superstorm Sandy, and now it’s not the waters that are rising against everybody’s favorite former speakeasy, but a monster downpayment. In hopes of raising $65,000 to get a mortgage, Johansen has been raising cash through a series of events she’s been holding at the bar and other locations. (more…)

04/25/17 9:47am

Photo by Ruthie Darling

On my walk home from the Morgan Ave. station I passed a wall that is usually covered in flyers. People looking for roommates, the ubiquitous Dan Smith offering his endless guitar lessons, posters promoting local comedy nights and all manner of other things. One particularly chilly night in February, I was hurrying along the street and glanced at the wall as usual. (more…)

04/24/17 4:48pm

“Nasty Woman.” Every feminist in Brokelandia remembers where she was when Donald Trump spat those words at Hillary Clinton during debate season. For some of us, this phrase became a rallying cry. Through the pain of the election results and the joy of the Women’s March, many of us drew strength from these words – as “Nasty Women”, we had the chance to feel like warriors, equipped to fight an administration that wanted to tear us down.

But as we approach the 100th day of 45’s presidency and he shows no signs of slowing his despicable roll, it’s clear that we have more work to do. In NYC, we’ve got plenty of opportunities to resist; there are Manhattan bars donating all profits to anti-Trump organizations, this past weekend’s March for Science, and there are plenty of artists who are mad as hell and aren’t gonna take it anymore. One such artist is Allison Brzezinski, an arts administrator and choreographer who’s teaming up with 50+ musicians, visual artists, comedians, filmmakers, dancers, and actors to launch Nasty Women Unite Fest, a week-long arts festival with a focus on intersectional feminism. The festival’s running from Tuesday, April 25 through Sunday, April 30, with performances in Manhattan, Queens, and (of course) Brooklyn. We recently caught up with Allison to chat about the curatorial process, the need for feminist art in today’s world, and what it means to be a “Nasty Woman”. (more…)

04/24/17 4:10pm
Photo via Yelp

Photo via Yelp

Standout borough indie ice cream maker Blue Marble Ice Cream and winner of the 2016 Brokelyn Ice Cream Bracket closed their main brick and mortar location back at the end of January, taking the tail end of winter and most of spring to gut renovate their home of eight years. This weekend, Blue Marble will emerge from their waffle cone chrysalis and begin once again serving scoops to the masses.

Blue Marble’s Events Director Sarah Green told us they “probably will be” offering reopening-related discounts. (more…)

04/24/17 11:55am

In his first 100 days in office, FDR did… a lot, too much to list here. Now we have a president who isn’t just trying to dismantle what’s left of the New Deal, but is also doing a pretty bad job of implementing his evil agenda. Although the latter is comforting, let’s not forget that Trump has already threatened to bomb North Korea, actually bombed Syria and Afghanistan, expanded ICE’s deportation priorities to include more immigrants than before, declared a new war on drugs, tried to ban Muslims from entering the country twice, and tried to take away healthcare from millions of Americans. Oh, and he golfs a lot.

That said, there are ways to resist. Hell, you’ve already done it for 100 days! Read all about it: (more…)

04/24/17 10:27am

Get brassy with RadicalAss Burlesque (#6). Photo by Nisha Sondhe

[Ed note: Reminder, we now have a separate roundup for activism-focused events, which we encourage you to check out here.]

1. Have a raucous start to your week at Film Shoot Punk Show, where you can bid a fond farewell to the almost-closed Don Pedro, be an extra in a movie, and listen to Debbie Downer, Night Screams, Dead Sexy Sheila, Fruit & Flowers, and Bad Look. (Monday, Don Pedro, FREE / $5 after 9pm)

2. Watch something real weird at Horror Boobs Movie Night, where Matt & Mike do strange comedy and then screen Breakfast of Aliens — plus free beer. (Monday, Tender Trap, FREE)

3. Go down under at Anzac Day, a celebration of Australia right here on a Greenpoint rooftop, with games of Two-Up, Coopers beer and shot specials, sausage and spinach rolls, and more. (Tuesday, Northern Territory, FREE) (more…)

04/21/17 4:43pm
Photo via Twitter

Photo via Twitter

Praise be the gods that deliver onto us cheap booze libations, available through low-cost, high-fun stork: Trader Joe’s. The most recent breaking development in affordable alcohol has arrived in the form of $4 four-packs of canned wine, exclusively available at the Union Square Trader Joe’s Wine Shop (138 E 14th St.).  (more…)

04/21/17 3:37pm
Thee Oh Sees at Northside Festival in 2014. Photo via Northside's Facebook

Thee Oh Sees at Northside Festival in 2014. Photo via Northside’s Facebook

Classic summer kick-off Northside Festival is just over a month away, and we’ve got two free premium, all-access badges for every day of the fest for two lucky Brokesters.

The premium badges, which are your ticket into all five days of the festival – Wednesday, June 7 to Sunday, June 11 – retail for over $550, but we’ve got you. Our raffle winners will have access to 150 speakers, 300 bands and exclusive events and parties. (more…)

04/21/17 1:46pm
Photo by Shervin Lainez

Photo by Shervin Lainez

Full disclosure: Charly Bliss is one my favorite bands on the fucking planet, and once you hear the Brooklyn-based quartet’s debut full-length, Guppy, (out today), they’ll be one of yours too.

The band’s blend of fuzzed-out garage rock, manic punk energy and pure pop joy results in the most exuberant feel-good music for people feeling bad. The aggressively catchy collection of tunes chronicle break-ups, hang-ups and feeling insecure without ever becoming a downer. (Just try not tapping your toe to the beat as lead singer Eva Hendricks sings “I laughed when your dog died. It is cruel, but it’s true” on standout track “DQ.” ) Their lyrics are packed with humor, and the pace is unrelenting from the first guitar strum on album-opener “Percolator.” (more…)