Please, please get this as a tattoo. via elle

1. Two Boots is getting out of the pizza kitchen and into relief kitchens. (Friday – Sunday)

2. Sandy tried to blow DUMBO away, so they told her to suck it. (Friday)

3. Go see the comedy show The Big Gulp before they’re legally required to change their name by the Health Department. (Friday)

4. It’s a party at a tattoo parlor benefiting Planned Parenthood. Obama’s America in a nutshell. (Friday)

5. An auction with dollar beers basically guarantees you’re waking up with something you thought you really, really needed the night before. (Friday)

6. Videology shows off their brand new bar by giving out free drinks for an hour (Friday)

7. BLDG92 at the Navy Yard is celebrating Veteran’s Day (Saturday)

8. Go smash some pumpkins. It’ll be the greatest day you’ve ever known. (Saturday)

9. Learn the art of connecting and the art of making tiny candies. And here we thought knowing how to make tiny candies alone made people want to know you. (Saturday)

10. If you ever want kids to understand what Julian Casablancas was mumbling about in “Soma,” you should go drop off a copy of Brave New World at this charity reading. (Saturday)

11. Check out this screening of The Battle for Brooklyn and learn to hate the LIBOR Barclays Center all over again. (Sunday)

12. We’re a sponsor for a supply drive for the Red Hook Initiative, so if you’ve want to see how attractive we are in person, this is your chance (Sunday)

13. Applewood is raising money for Sandy by selling sausages. Finally, a way to feel morally superior to your vegan friends. (Sunday)

14. Go bargain hunting in Williamsburg, and drop some cash in the stores’ Sandy donation boxes. And then eat fried chicken. Good Sunday.

Want to see your event on our fabulous weekend listings? Put in the Brokelyn Events calendar!

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