‘Downtown Brooklyn the new Midtown’ update: Downtown is all chains

Fulton Mall

Not long for this world? via Flickr user emily geoff

Downtown Brooklyn is hot! At least in the eyes of commercial real estate developers, who say things like “It’s the next Midtown,” but in an excited way instead of in an old gypsy curse kind of way. We already knew that a bunch of finance bros were on their way there, and DNA Info looked at the other side of the soulless Midtown existence and found that Downtown is filling up with national chains. We are just moments away from greasy anti-Semitic Elmo and some kind of Brooklyn version of the Naked Cowboy, probably called the Naked Hipster. We can just feel it. 

As you’ll recall, Brooklyn led the city in retail chain growth last year. DNA Info checked out the places in Downtown that weren’t a Dunkin’ Donuts or a Duane  Reade, and found places like Rocco’s Taco and Tequila Bar, a taco chain from Florida. They have tequila, which you couldn’t get anywhere else around here. There’s also yet another Chipotle, which combined with the Court Street and Montague Street locations, make sure that you’re never further than approximately four feet from a Chipotle. Downtown and Cobble Hill also have themselves a Lululemon, an H & M, and soon, a J. Crew, among others.

Of course, not that something like this happening hadn’t already been prophesied, but it’s still not fun to deal with. Anyway, if we were you, we’d take advantage of our guide to shopping Fulton Mall while you can. After all, it’s not like you’ll need instructions on how to shop at a Banana Republic or an It’Sugar.