BK Top 5: The best things to do tonight, from sciencie lessons to celebrating Friendsgiving

How does this crazy Hadron Collider thing work? Will it destroy us all? Find out, tonight at The Bell House. Photo by Maximilien Brice, via CERN

How does this crazy Hadron Collider thing work? Will it destroy us all? Find out, tonight at The Bell House. Photo by Maximilien Brice, via CERN

Some bad news: it’s Monday. Some good news: it’s a short week. Some bad news: Sheamus is your WWE world champ following an underwhelming Survivor Series. Some good news: the Brokelyn Event Calendar is still full of some good stuff to do tonight despite a lot of venues going into holiday hibernation. I say, focus on the good news.

ASS: ANTAGONIST STORYTELLING SHOW
One thing that might bum you out about traditional storytelling nights is that there’s always some kind of lesson or growth in them. And maybe you don’t want to be inspired because that reminds you of your own shortcoming that you’d rather not think about. This right here is the storytelling night for you then, as it’s just a collection of comedians talking about the terrible things they’ve done without feeling shame. It’ll make you feel so much better about your own life!
7pm, Over the Eight, 594 Union Avenue, Williamsburg, FREE

BROOKLYN BREWERY PRESENTS: AN ABOVE AVERAGE COMEDY SHOWCASE
You don’t necessarily want there to be comedy going on at a brewery during business hours, because then who knows what winds up in your beer. On the other hand, once business is done, things can turn goofy with less risk. So in that spirit, welcome the likes of Aparna Nancherla, Jo Firestone, Jon Rudnitsky and some special surprises to Brooklyn Brewery, as Above Average throws a free comedy night that’s not to be beat.
8pm, Brooklyn Brewery, 79 North 11th Street, Williamsburg, FREE

AM I WRITE, LADIES?: EAT YOUR WORDS
Just in time for the start of America’s traditional overeating season, here’s a salute to food and the people who love it courtesy of variety show Am I Write, Ladies? Tonight’s antics will include “sandwich soliloquies, artichoke love songs, Japanese lunch anthems, succulent stand-up, Streisand burlesque, a play set in a Blockbuster” and other ways for people to show how much they care about food. Which makes sense, when you think about how much food does for you.
The Cobra Club, 6 Wyckoff Avenue, Bushwick, $5

SECRET SCIENCE CLUB PRESENTS PARTICLE PHYSICIST KYLE CRANMER
Science, how does it work? Or in this case, the science of particle physics and the Large Hadron Collider. Particle man Kyle Cranmer will be at The Bell House tonight to explain what the LHC is being used for, why everyone wants to find the Higgs boson particle and will maybe put your fears that the LHC will smash particles so hard that it creates a tiny black hole that grows larger and swallows the whole Earth to rest. Or he’ll explain it’s just a risk you take when you science.
8pm, The Bell House, 149 7th Street, Gowanus, FREE

SYCAMORE FRIENDSGIVING
Maybe the idea of eating two Thanksgiving meals is a little gluttonous, but ’tis the season for gluttony. With that rationalization out of the way, head to Sycamore for their Friendsgiving night, where you can eat pie and turducken meatballs, drink mulled wine and revel in friendliness and food.
6pm, Sycamore, 1118 Cortelyou Road, Ditmas Park, FREE