07/28/14 9:27am
brooklyn brewery

Garret Oliver making his best “Brooklyn Brewery ain’t nothin’ to fuck with” face. via Facebook

As we all know, Brooklyn Brewery has made a splash by expanding its operation to Sweden, where they love Brooklyn so much they named a bar after us. One expansion into foreign territory wasn’t enough for the brewery though, because according to Crain’s, Brooklyn Brewery is looking to expand their operations to the shores of Shaolin. Or as non-adherents to the Wu-Tang way call it, Staten Island. (more…)

07/27/14 6:30am
Case Maclaim & Pixel Pancho

Case Maclaim & Pixel Pancho street art in Bushwick (via Instagram user Halopigg)

Grab some coffee and a danish; we’ve got your Sunday reads right here.

On Landscaping: “New Orleans needs goats,” [Narratively]
On Hardship: “It’s getting harder to be homeless in America.” [PBS]
On Art: “We found ourselves frozen seeing this masterpiece come together.” [UC]
On Lies: “…these services may have been used by [the] NSA.” [Independent]
On Damn Lies: “We are not interested in reconfiguring the landscape of East New York.” [Gothamist]
On Statistics: “The question is whether a shark can be taught moderation.” [Guardian]
On Giving Up: “…perhaps a certain level of traffic crashes is inevitable.” [BKQ]
On Youth: “Who has time to sit around … watching the Netflix all day?” [New Yorker]
On Fairness “Amazon is undermining our ability to survive.” [Nation]
On Deserts: “We have one full-service supermarket for our 125,000 people.“ [Billfold]
On Leadership: “[Vader] was really the galaxy’s first compassionate conservative.” [WaPo]
On Hipsters: “I secretly fantasized about getting mugged or beat up in a bad neighborhood” [Awl]
On Precariousness: “If it had hit, we would still be picking up the pieces,” [NYPost]

07/25/14 4:48pm
brooklyn bridge flag

The week we just gave up

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-The Brooklyn Bridge gave up, and maybe we should have too

-BAM invited you to a 24-hour movie marathon

-Marvel was offering all of the comics for just $1

-Bar games were ranked by how likely you were to get some action after playing them

-We got a look into the life of a pizza delivery man

-MetroTech became a summer learning center

-The McKibbin Loft basements weren’t fit for human life

-We had plenty of cheap apartments for you that were

-Bodega food posters were chronicled

-Gowanus was overwhelmed by doody water

-The Williamsburg J. Crew proved impossible to parody

-Williamsburg in general was, though

-We loved South and Brooklyn Ice House, they’ve got great backyards

07/25/14 4:08pm
greenpoint ferry

Greenpoint can now sail through the G train shutdown. via Facebook

It was touch-and-go there for a bit, and it was looking like the East River Ferry was going to be delayed until July 31, stranding G train-dependent Greenpointers for a few extra days. But, press releases from both Greenpoint’s elected officials and the NYC Economic Development Corporation just came in that announced that the ferry would return to it’s normal operating schedule starting on Saturday, July 26. While a look at the schedule shows that Greenpoint is still greyed out, both press releases are touting the return of the ferry for Saturday, so the website should catch up shortly.

The NYC EDC press release also noted that the free shuttle running from the Greenpoint ferry landing to the North 6th Street landing will still be running during morning and evening rush hours until July 30. Anyway, enjoy your commute where you pretend to be a pirate, Greenpointers.

07/25/14 2:53pm
road warrior

This is the future of getting gas in the outer boroughs

Out here in Real America, we live an existence that straddles the line between embracing car culture, and rejecting it especially hard if there’s money involved in it. The pendulum has swung very, very far towards the latter, to the point where as the Observer reports, Manhattan below 23rd Street is basically bereft of gas stations, because the owners are selling the land to make way for luxury condos. “Why should I care?” you might be asking. Ordinarily, that’s a perfectly reasonable thing to ask about Disney Presents: Manhattan!, but in this case, the drivers used to gassing up in lower Manhattan are going to start coming here. (more…)

07/25/14 12:54pm
portside newyork heavy metal sale

You can probably figure out what to do with this thing. via PortSide NewYork

Are you a prospective restaurateur struggling to think of a theme for your future eatery? Stocking up for an elaborate production of your one-person show, “If I Were a Pirate”? Perhaps you’re just looking for a way to decorate your apartment like a ghost ship so you can dub it “the hull,” kind of creeping out all those who visit from now on, you weirdo? No matter what your goal, there’ll be some deals waiting for you at PortSide NewYork’s “Heavy Metal” sale at Pier 11 in Red Hook this Sunday, according to DNAInfo, where you’ll find all the marine gear, and none of the scurvy. (more…)

07/25/14 12:00pm

The Man With the Personal MTA Countdown Clock. Terrible Bond movie [Runnin' Scared]
Andrew Cuomo has some really mysterious, cussy people protesting for him [Business Insider]
Fake Brooklyn landlord accused of real brutal murder [Daily News]
Forest City Ratner is pissing off some Brooklyn Heights residents [Brooklyn Heights Blog]
Meet the formerly homeless teen who’s now a man running for State Senate in East New York [DNA Info]
Williamsburg’s Starbucks is meaningless. Totally totally meaningless [Gothamist]
Here are 11 of NYC’s lesser-loved bridges [Untapped Cities]

07/25/14 11:20am
mccarren hotel and pool

Look at these fucking hipsters (at their luxury hotel). via Facebook

We don’t know what it is about people that they can’t let go of the idea that Williamsburg is chock full of hipsters, but every day brings a new piece of news that hammers home IT FUCKING ISN’T. Today’s sign that Williamsburg is for stockbrokers: a $1.75 million two-bedroom apartment overlooking the McCarren Hotel pool that’s being pitched as the perfect antidote to rich guys who just wanna wave their wallet around, with the Daily News chiming in that your new terrace gives you “plenty of opportunity for observing the doe-eyed hipster set in its summer skivvies.”

And what art school dropout with pink streaks in her hair wouldn’t consider this scenario a heavy gusher:

But some locals think it would be a hit with Brooklyn babes.

One playboy’s advice: “You just walk down to the pool, get a drink and ask them if they want to come upstairs and freshen up.”

If that’s not game, we don’t know what is.

We didn’t think the Williamsburg J. Crew would take a shambling, Jager-puking human form so quickly, but then who are we to argue with the dark arts?

Follow Dave for more class warfare at @DaveCoIon

07/25/14 10:25am
beastie boys

They’re pretty pumped about it too.

The Beastie Boys have about as solid a musical legacy in New York City as anyone, and while MCA has a park, the group don’t have a street corner named after them. LeRoy McCarthy, he of Christopher Wallace Way, attempted to get the corner of Ludlow and Rivington, where the Paul’s Boutique album cover photo was taken, named Beastie Boys Square, but he had his plan rejected. So he’s doing the next best thing by curating a mural on the corner in order to make an unofficial Beastie Boys Square, and you can see it as it goes up on Saturday, July 26 starting at 11am. (more…)

07/25/14 9:59am
You were aiming for the heart but your aim was just a little off. What would work better than darts? via Flickr user Aschevogel

You were aiming for the heart but your aim was just a little off. What would work better than darts? via Flickr user Aschevogel

It’s summer, where temperatures both literal and figurative run high! We’re comfortably out of our winter suckfest hibernation so hopefully you’ve been dating more liberally and more entertainingly. Still, after you’ve been cocooned in down coats watching Netflix for months, maybe you still haven’t gotten that old fashioned mojo back. Not to worry- bars have you covered with a litany of games to entertain the apple of your eye, but what are the best games to segue into getting a bite of that apple? I’m here to scientifically rank bar games for dates on a 1-5 scale of Pac-Man-Make-Outs. (more…)