Everyone loves the big yellow joint

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-The one part of the Bluth empire not under indictment stopped into town

-Andy Samberg introduced a Brooklyn-based TV show that wasn’t supposed to be meaningful or insightful

-A Robyn dance party was announced, people called their girlfriends to let them know

-The Tiki Disco schedule dropped, people avoided telling their girlfriends so they could dance with different sexy people

-American tragically fell out of love with hipsters

-Just in time for the opening of the Williamsburg Urban Outfitters bar

-Red Hook got a ferry

-The O.D.B. became the first Brooklynite to be made into a hologram

-Rooftop Films let us know where we could watch moves on roofs

-You got the lowdown on what to buy at the dollar store to look good this summer

-And you’ve also got the lowdown on GoogaMooga

NO SLEEP ‘TIL SUMMER BONUS: Here’s a video of Titus Andronicus and the So So Glos covering “No Sleep ‘Til Brooklyn”

Land of fun, land of reduced rent. Via NPR.

While Hurricane Sandy was, is, and continues to be a hot messy mess of devastation for this city, at the very least, it showed you where everyone stood when it came to this city. The government didn’t care. Corporations didn’t care (unless it provided them an opportunity for new building space). You cared. Some places embarrassed themselves, while others found it to be a source of inspiration. Sandy brought with it a lot of surprises about the city, and here’s one more: real estate developers are being pretty cool about keeping rent prices down. (more…)

In this case, shrinkage is preferred

Usually when it comes to penis size, you’ll find guys lining up to talk about how huge they are. Or, we guess, we haven’t really had a chat like that in awhile. But hey, outside of taking questionable pills, it’s not like can do anything to make your dick bigger. So for those of you a little less endowed, King County Bar, in Bushwick (duh) is holding a contest to determine who in Brooklyn has the smallest penis. You’ve gotta be pretty ballsy to enter this, huh? (more…)

Finally, somewhere to outfit your mouth with hipness.

As you may have heard, not only is Williamsburg getting that Urban Outfitters it’s always needed, but the company is applying for a liquor license to open a cafe within the store. Befitting any major destination drinking spot in Brooklyn these days, they’re going to have an extensive artisanal cocktail menu, which sources close to the company have leaked to Brokelyn. Presented for your perusal, an exclusive first look at the menu of Cafe Urban Outfitters:  (more…)

Experts in their field, one and all

Hey Brooklyn, have you noticed a distinct lack of people staying classy around here lately? No matter how many times you remind them to? Well, don’t worry, because the expert in staying classy, Mr. Ron Burgundy himself, is on his way here to film some scenes for Anchorman 2 on Monday. So provided he doesn’t accidentally tell people to go fuck themselves, he’ll really class things up around here. (more…)

BK pizza delivery man also delivers coke. Not the soda [NYDN]
The ultimate vintage: fighting with medieval weapons [Brooklyn Paper]
There’s always reporters in the banana stand [New York Observer]
Anthony Weiner films campaign video, still won’t go away [NYM]
Mike Bloomberg, meanwhile, can’t go away soon enough [The Awl]
Scarring: the new tattooing [DNAInfo]
Kirsten Gillibrand waits to make mayoral endorsement [Capital]

You’re gonna disappointed by Man of Steel anyway, may as well be on the cheap. via Facebook

We’re not sure when this was decided, but movies are for rich people. This innocent pastime which once welcomed all tax brackets into its chilly, air conditioned arms seems to have slipped away, and for many of us, the days of seeing cinematic wonders unfold before us on a screen larger than a laptop screen are naught but a memory.

Well, we don’t know how to fight that, but we do know that doing something that doesn’t include the overconsumption of alcohol and subsequent high bar tab shouldn’t lead to regret and an empty checking account. So, we’ve rounded up this list of Brooklyn theaters where you can go to the movies for cheap(er). (more…)

130? Naw, you don’t look a day over 115! via Wikimedia

Everyone loves birthdays, right? Don’t tell us if you hate them, it’ll ruin this. Anyway, everyone loves birthdays, and you know what lives in New York and has had a ton of them? The Brooklyn Bridge! Specifically, it’s had 129 birthdays, which makes it one of the oldest suspension bridges in the US. And Sunday, the Bridge turns the big (one) three-oh, which calls for a poetry reading to celebrate it. (more…)

Get to work like this today? Well then we’ve got a party for you! via Facebook

It’s Friday, which means it’s time to party anyway. But it also happens to be Bike to Work day, and if you’re sitting in your office a sweaty mess, the odds are pretty good that you celebrated appropriately. Or, you really gotta get in shape, dawg. But, if you did bike to work today, you get a reward other than just the satisfaction of doing the right thing: tonight in DUMBO, Transportation Alternatives is having a FREE Bike Home from Work Party! (more…)