This July 4, party like it’s 1776

Photo by Seuss.
Photo by Seuss.

It’s a couple… 234 years later, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do this thing right. Brooklyn has a hallowed place in our country’s early days. This July 4, take part in some historically (in)appropriate activities to celebrate our founding fathers, freedom and plain, old 18th century good times. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1) Drive out your British neighbors… to pick up some Sam Adams, that is. (Who do you think we are?)

2) Give your fox-hounds the day off. Bring them to the Prospect Park dog beach instead. Who knows? Maybe they’ll catch something for the grill.

3) Dress like you mean it: Trade your summer dress for a 10-layer sack-back gown: Nothing screams sexy like a closed bodice and flowery ribbons. For the guys, take out your best formal wig (lest you get labeled a mere commoner).

4) Throw your own tea party: First stop, Tea Lounge. Next, the Gowanus Canal. You pick the cause.

5) Host a bathtub gin party to honor prohibition’s roots.

6) Hold a dance dance revolution: Show off your best Cotillion at the BBQ ball.

7) Bake your own hotdog buns. Don’t forget the maggots and weevils.

8) Throw together some grog for the festivities: If it doesn’t arouse your gag reflex, you’re doing it wrong.

9) Quiet down the rowdies: Save those illegal fireworks for next year and go for the Revolutionary cannon (complete with eight-pound cannonballs) instead. A lot more bad-ass, and guaranteed to terrify everyone within a half-mile of your rooftop.

10) Witness a modern-day Battle of Brooklyn… just with different-color coats.

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