04/21/17 1:46pm
Photo by Shervin Lainez

Photo by Shervin Lainez

Full disclosure: Charly Bliss is one my favorite bands on the fucking planet, and once you hear the Brooklyn-based quartet’s debut full-length, Guppy, (out today), they’ll be one of yours too.

The band’s blend of fuzzed-out garage rock, manic punk energy and pure pop joy results in the most exuberant feel-good music for people feeling bad. The aggressively catchy collection of tunes chronicle break-ups, hang-ups and feeling insecure without ever becoming a downer. (Just try not tapping your toe to the beat as lead singer Eva Hendricks sings “I laughed when your dog died. It is cruel, but it’s true” on standout track “DQ.” ) Their lyrics are packed with humor, and the pace is unrelenting from the first guitar strum on album-opener “Percolator.” (more…)

04/20/17 1:45pm

Seeing a movie in a theater has become ridiculously expensive. Even if you don’t spring for 3D or IMAX, you’re likely paying close to $20 for a film you’re not even sure you’ll enjoy. It’s an event, and the experience usually involves coordinating with friends or partners to find an acceptable showtime and seats that are next to each other (if you’re in one of these newfangled assigned-seating theaters). Shows under $10 are rare, and not every theater has good matinee deals.

So if you’re new to Brooklyn, or you’ve been here for years but generally avoid theaters because of the cost, here is the rundown on current ticket prices. Use this handy guide the next time you need something to do on a random weekday afternoon, or if you’re looking for budget dates. And as we head into warmer weather, you may need to use one of these theaters to duck into when your air conditioner breaks down. And now we present the main attraction: (more…)

04/18/17 4:22pm
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We can’t wait to be here with Kelso beers and good friends. Photo via Facebook

Of all the free outdoor movie series in Brooklyn every summer, the one at Fort Greene’s Habana Outpost (757 Fulton St.) remains my personal favorite. Maybe it’s the convenience of cheap alcohol and foodstuffs (CORN PORN) next door, or the colorful decor of the courtyard that sits right on the street. Or maybe it’s just the rebellious feeling that watching a movie projected onto the side of a building wall offers to an otherwise waning weirdness in present-day Fort Greene.

Whatever the reason, the Habana Outpost movie series is, IMO, the one to get pumped about. This year’s movie selection is tops, as per usual: all pre-2000 classics, with cult New Yawk flicks like The Warriors and Do The Right Thing alongside lesser-known gems like Dead Presidents and To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything. Stay tuned for our ultimate guide to all the outdoor movies in BK this summer! And in the meantime, mark these dates on your calendar. (more…)

02/23/17 2:15pm
This Sunday is the 89th tiny gold men reunion. Photo via Wikipedia

This Sunday is the 89th tiny gold men reunion. Photo via Wikipedia

This Sunday, celebrities will come together to cry, make political statements, wear sparkly gowns and bestow upon each other tiny golden men. It’s the 89th Academy Awards, and whether or not you’ve seen La La Land or don’t even have the attention span to get through anything but a Disney film, lots of venues are making a night of it across the borough so go out and watch if for nothing but the booze and so you can sound cultured at work in the morning.

Here’s where we’re deciding between to spend our Sunday night. (more…)

02/20/17 2:26pm
Heels on wheels.

Heels on wheels.

Two’s company, but three’s a crowd, unless it’s three people going together to Poughkeepsie, in which case you might need that third person to keep your ex-husband from shimmying down the chimney to get his Oxycontin.

Finally, someone is portraying the real millennial Brooklyn. The one that confronts their Oxycontin ex-husband in Poughkeepsie.

Allow me to explain. Marnie and Desi are still being so gross, and they decide to take a road trip to romantic Poughkeepsie for reasons that remain unclear. To help mask the charade, Hannah tags along. While squirreled away in their cabin, Marnie finds Desi’s mason jar full of Oxycontin, because — twist! — he’s been addicted to Oxy this whole time. Marnie, of course, does the entirely wrong thing, smashing his mason jar and stomping on his stash, turning Desi into a full-blown Marky Mark Fear monster, smashing windows and terrorizing Hannah and Marnie for a weird horror movie segment. The whole situation allows Hannah to drop some knowledge on Marnie: Maybe she didn’t realize her husband was pounding Oxy like they’re fucking Mentos because she’s too busy always thinking of her self. Mind blown. (more…)

02/13/17 11:13am
You can keep Montauk, just leave us the Rockaways.

You can keep Montauk, just leave us the Rockaways.

Beyoncé once said, “The best revenge is your paper,” which is true, unless you’re Hannah Horvath, and the best revenge is writing about how your best friend stole your boyfriend and you didn’t bother warning her about his oral herpes in the paper of record. The final season of Lena Dunham’s iconic, infuriating, painful and sometimes painfully accurate portrayal of millennial aging and angst kicked off last night by setting its protagonist on a path of something that almost looks like success.

Hannah’s “triumphant” performance on the Moth has led to a Modern Love column in The New York Times which has in turn led to some freelance work for something called SlagMag. The editor (played with perfect emotional disregard by the hilarious Chelsea Peretti) sends Hannah up to Montauk to infiltrate (and inevitably fail at) a bougie surf class for bored ladies. She, of course, fakes an injury to her “front arm” and ditches almost immediately, opting instead to down electric blue cocktails and sun her open vagina. It’s not a total loss, though. She ends up on a whirlwind romantic adventure with the hot (but dim) surf instructor Paul-Louis (The Night Of’s Riz Ahmed) that includes sloppy fucking on a beach, Cheetos, Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper and vomiting off the side of a bunkbed. Oh, and an acoustic jam of soft alt-rock, mid-tempo classic “She’s So High.” (more…)

12/15/16 4:04pm
Carly Hanson can't really keep her clothes clean in 'Single Blonde Failure.'

Carly Hanson can’t really keep her clothes clean in ‘Single Blonde Failure.’

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a Twitter account, must be in want of a following. Such is the comedic premise for Single Blonde Failure, a web series released last week on Youtube that hyperbolizes the problem of social media influencing and how an online persona can eclipse IRL personage.

Co-created by Brooklyn comedians Carly Ann Filbin and Bobby Hankinson, Single Blonde Failure follows protagonist Carly Hanson (played by Filbin) through a series of misadventures in the borough as she becomes increasingly pledged to her personal “brand,” facing off against cranky clerks, topknot-sporting PR queens, and white men who aren’t her boyfriend along the way.

Brokelyn chatted with Hankinson — who, in addition to co-writing this series, has also written for us and currently works on the biz side of Brokelyn — about the journey to realizing SBF‘s unique take on social media addiction. Because despite the exaggerated humor, the series lands on a pretty real message about what it means to be less than the person you claim to be online.

“It’s about forgiving yourself for not being so interesting,” Hankinson, 31, told us. “For not being so put together, for not being this aspirational caricature that’s made in a boardroom.” (more…)

12/09/16 12:06pm
How do you make the ballet more diverse? Transport the Nutcracker to Brooklyn

Photo by Stephan Moskovic.

About halfway through the Brooklyn Ballet’s new performance of the Nutcracker at the Brooklyn Museum, three dudes walk on stage looking like they got lost on the way to the subway. They’re wearing fashionable clothes and hoodies instead of tutus and tights, and when the traditional music kicks in, they break into dance moves that are more showtime than pointe shoes.

If other Nutcracker performances are all about the prim, polish and traditionalism of a 120-year old ballet, this one is about cracking open that hard nut (see what I did there) and bringing the show to new audiences. Since this is Brooklyn, that means a diverse cast, a mix of dance styles from around the world, light-up outfits built with the help of a local hacker space and transforming the character Drosselmeyer into a master of the pop-and-lock. This is the first time the Brooklyn Ballet has done a full Nutcracker performance, so artistic director Lynn Parkerson was keen to make the show feel at home on Eastern Parkway.

“Why would I do the traditional Nutcracker? New York City Ballet has that locked up,” she told Brokelyn. “If I’m going to do a Nutcracker, it should reflect the place that we are in. … Already there’s these different characters from different countries. Brooklyn is this incredibly diverse borough, so it just lends itself to that.”

The production is tied to the overall recent emphasis on diversity in the performing arts, from Misty Copeland and Hamilton down to public school programs. And yeah, ballet isn’t cheap, but this one is still relatively affordable: New York City Ballet productions can run you hundreds of dollars. This show’s $90 tickets sold out through Sunday night. But Parkerson’s approach to the show, which emphasizes diversity and accessibility to new audiences who don’t frequent Lincoln Center, could be a big move toward keeping ballet relevant for future generations. (more…)

12/08/16 3:52pm

The holiday season is evergreen (sry) for themed internet content, but once in a while there’ll be a song that bypasses the usual fast-burning viral fame and moves directly into meme status. Some years back, we Jews got Brandon Harris Walker’s Chinese Food on Christmas and Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song. This past Halloween, we were gifted SNL’s David S. Pumpkins, sure to play on for many Halloweens to come. And this week, a new song surfaced on the internet for the 2016 Christmas season. It’s not the rewrite of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” but it is your feminist holiday anthem of the year.

LIT (Like a Christmas Tree)” is a rap song made in collaboration by Brooklyn-based rap collective Hand Job Academy and Miami-based duo Basside. The title is pretty self-explanatory, and the song does a great job of capturing the millennial sentiment of 2016’s holiday season. We’ll happily spend time with the family for holiday celebrations, so long as we can get lit and avoid having anything to do with organized religion.

“Cover my tats for mass in a dress from ASOS, ’cause Christmas day I get pesos.” (more…)

11/08/16 4:27pm

If you live in New York, chances are you’re enjoying a comfortably blue news feed from your fellow voters this election day. Which is no surprise, since NY has long been about 99 percent for #Her in Five Thirty Eight‘s polls. If you do come across someone today who happened to vote for Trump or a third-party candidate, you should be kind; hard as it may be to “understand,” we’re all human, and we’re all trying. Besides, people already booed Trump at the polls today.

What’s more, we all have something fundamental in common: a love of New York City. And as the new election video above reminds us, a shared love of New York City comes with a shared hatred too, for the real Public Enemy No. 1. It’s not Trump supporters; it’s tourists. (more…)