This Sunday is the 89th tiny gold men reunion. Photo via Wikipedia
This Sunday, celebrities will come together to cry, make political statements, wear sparkly gowns and bestow upon each other tiny golden men. It’s the 89th Academy Awards, and whether or not you’ve seen La La Land or don’t even have the attention span to get through anything but a Disney film, lots of venues are making a night of it across the borough so go out and watch if for nothing but the booze and so you can sound cultured at work in the morning.
Here’s where we’re deciding between to spend our Sunday night. (more…)
Two’s company, but three’s a crowd, unless it’s three people going together to Poughkeepsie, in which case you might need that third person to keep your ex-husband from shimmying down the chimney to get his Oxycontin.
Finally, someone is portraying the real millennial Brooklyn. The one that confronts their Oxycontin ex-husband in Poughkeepsie.
Allow me to explain. Marnie and Desi are still being so gross, and they decide to take a road trip to romantic Poughkeepsie for reasons that remain unclear. To help mask the charade, Hannah tags along. While squirreled away in their cabin, Marnie finds Desi’s mason jar full of Oxycontin, because — twist! — he’s been addicted to Oxy this whole time. Marnie, of course, does the entirely wrong thing, smashing his mason jar and stomping on his stash, turning Desi into a full-blown Marky Mark Fear monster, smashing windows and terrorizing Hannah and Marnie for a weird horror movie segment. The whole situation allows Hannah to drop some knowledge on Marnie: Maybe she didn’t realize her husband was pounding Oxy like they’re fucking Mentos because she’s too busy always thinking of her self. Mind blown. (more…)
You can keep Montauk, just leave us the Rockaways.
Beyoncé once said, “The best revenge is your paper,” which is true, unless you’re Hannah Horvath, and the best revenge is writing about how your best friend stole your boyfriend and you didn’t bother warning her about his oral herpes in the paper of record. The final season of Lena Dunham’s iconic, infuriating, painful and sometimes painfully accurate portrayal of millennial aging and angst kicked off last night by setting its protagonist on a path of something that almost looks like success.
Hannah’s “triumphant” performance on the Moth has led to a Modern Love column in The New York Times which has in turn led to some freelance work for something called SlagMag. The editor (played with perfect emotional disregard by the hilarious Chelsea Peretti) sends Hannah up to Montauk to infiltrate (and inevitably fail at) a bougie surf class for bored ladies. She, of course, fakes an injury to her “front arm” and ditches almost immediately, opting instead to down electric blue cocktails and sun her open vagina. It’s not a total loss, though. She ends up on a whirlwind romantic adventure with the hot (but dim) surf instructor Paul-Louis (The Night Of’s Riz Ahmed) that includes sloppy fucking on a beach, Cheetos, Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper and vomiting off the side of a bunkbed. Oh, and an acoustic jam of soft alt-rock, mid-tempo classic “She’s So High.” (more…)
Carly Hanson can’t really keep her clothes clean in ‘Single Blonde Failure.’
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a Twitter account, must be in want of a following. Such is the comedic premise for Single Blonde Failure, a web series released last week on Youtube that hyperbolizes the problem of social media influencing and how an online persona can eclipse IRL personage.
Co-created by Brooklyn comedians Carly Ann Filbin and Bobby Hankinson, Single Blonde Failure follows protagonist Carly Hanson (played by Filbin) through a series of misadventures in the borough as she becomes increasingly pledged to her personal “brand,” facing off against cranky clerks, topknot-sporting PR queens, and white men who aren’t her boyfriend along the way.
Brokelyn chatted with Hankinson — who, in addition to co-writing this series, has also written for us and currently works on the biz side of Brokelyn — about the journey to realizing SBF‘s unique take on social media addiction. Because despite the exaggerated humor, the series lands on a pretty real message about what it means to be less than the person you claim to be online.
“It’s about forgiving yourself for not being so interesting,” Hankinson, 31, told us. “For not being so put together, for not being this aspirational caricature that’s made in a boardroom.” (more…)
About halfway through the Brooklyn Ballet’s new performance of the Nutcracker at the Brooklyn Museum, three dudes walk on stage looking like they got lost on the way to the subway. They’re wearing fashionable clothes and hoodies instead of tutus and tights, and when the traditional music kicks in, they break into dance moves that are more showtime than pointe shoes.
If other Nutcracker performances are all about the prim, polish and traditionalism of a 120-year old ballet, this one is about cracking open that hard nut (see what I did there) and bringing the show to new audiences. Since this is Brooklyn, that means a diverse cast, a mix of dance styles from around the world, light-up outfits built with the help of a local hacker space and transforming the character Drosselmeyer into a master of the pop-and-lock. This is the first time the Brooklyn Ballet has done a full Nutcracker performance, so artistic director Lynn Parkerson was keen to make the show feel at home on Eastern Parkway.
“Why would I do the traditional Nutcracker? New York City Ballet has that locked up,” she told Brokelyn. “If I’m going to do a Nutcracker, it should reflect the place that we are in. … Already there’s these different characters from different countries. Brooklyn is this incredibly diverse borough, so it just lends itself to that.”
The production is tied to the overall recent emphasis on diversity in the performing arts, from Misty Copeland and Hamilton down to public school programs. And yeah, ballet isn’t cheap, but this one is still relatively affordable: New York City Ballet productions can run you hundreds of dollars. This show’s $90 tickets sold out through Sunday night. But Parkerson’s approach to the show, which emphasizes diversity and accessibility to new audiences who don’t frequent Lincoln Center, could be a big move toward keeping ballet relevant for future generations. (more…)
The holiday season is evergreen (sry) for themed internet content, but once in a while there’ll be a song that bypasses the usual fast-burning viral fame and moves directly into meme status. Some years back, we Jews got Brandon Harris Walker’s Chinese Food on Christmas and Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song. This past Halloween, we were gifted SNL’s David S. Pumpkins, sure to play on for many Halloweens to come. And this week, a new song surfaced on the internet for the 2016 Christmas season. It’s not the rewrite of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” but it is your feminist holiday anthem of the year.
“LIT (Like a Christmas Tree)” is a rap song made in collaboration by Brooklyn-based rap collective Hand Job Academy and Miami-based duo Basside. The title is pretty self-explanatory, and the song does a great job of capturing the millennial sentiment of 2016’s holiday season. We’ll happily spend time with the family for holiday celebrations, so long as we can get lit and avoid having anything to do with organized religion.
“Cover my tats for mass in a dress from ASOS, ’cause Christmas day I get pesos.” (more…)
If you live in New York, chances are you’re enjoying a comfortably blue news feed from your fellow voters this election day. Which is no surprise, since NY has long been about 99 percent for #Her in Five Thirty Eight‘s polls. If you do come across someone today who happened to vote for Trump or a third-party candidate, you should be kind; hard as it may be to “understand,” we’re all human, and we’re all trying. Besides, people already booed Trump at the polls today.
What’s more, we all have something fundamental in common: a love of New York City. And as the new election video above reminds us, a shared love of New York City comes with a shared hatred too, for the real Public Enemy No. 1. It’s not Trump supporters; it’s tourists. (more…)
In ‘Basic Witch,’ you shouldn’t make assumptions about magic. via screenshot
Over the past few years, witches have truly come out of the cauldron. There’s a real coven in Bushwick, for example, and spell-casting workshops are offered right up there with reading series and comedy shows. If you happen to be a witch, no one’s going to burn you at the stake or claim they saw you with the devil. Your plight is totally relatable, after all — we all wish there was a spell that could lower our rent, or that nefarious cat-callers on the street could be silenced with a single flick of our wands. It’s safe to say that in 2016, being a witch has never been more… well, basic.
That’s exactly what Basic Witch, the new web series co-created by a coven (read: creative team) of women in Brooklyn, purports to explore. The series follows a witch named Penelope (played by actor Jessica Frey) along the treadmill of her daily routine, taking us through recognizably New York scenarios with a witchy touch. In just five sweetly condensed episodes of six minutes or less, Penelope contends with catcalling construction workers, an ignorant roommate, a male-dominated workplace and the trials of self-care. She even meets bae along the way.
And through all of this, Penelope never uses her powers. Save for a single “Abracadabra!” as she jimmies open the door of an apartment she’s showing — uttered so nonchalantly that we can’t even tell whether it’s magic or not — Penelope chooses to suffer through the humanity of each situation rather than controlling it with spells. And according to the series writers, Claire Rothrock and Ryann Weir, that’s exactly the point.
“I think we were all really inspired by Master of None and how delicately and humanely it deals with ‘otherness’ and identity politics,” Weir, 28, told Brokelyn. “Our main character is different from a lot of the people she interacts with — she’s a witch. But regardless of what people perceive that to mean, Penelope is navigating what it means to her.” (more…)
Lady Liberty welcomes visitors to Doomocracy at the Brooklyn Army Terminal. Photo by Will Star/Shooting Stars Pro.
This year, we’ve learned that the most terrifying thing some people can imagine is a clown slowly stalking them from a forest.For others (me), it’s the thought of this election being stuck in a Twilight Zone-ish scenario that actually doesn’t end on Nov. 8 and carries on forever until the earth is mercifully swallowed by the sun. But for others, the most terrifying thing they will face this Halloween is having a service industry job. [Warning: mild spoilers ahead if you’re planning to see Doomocracy.]
Being forced into a catering gig is one of the standout parts of Pedro Reyes’s Doomocracy installation at the Brooklyn Army Terminal, an immersive horror house that’s part dystopian political satire and part Sleep No More. At one point, you’re shunted from sitting around a table in a mock Halliburton conference room, forced to climb four flights of stairs and immediately handed an apron and serving tray as you’re berated by a catering manager in English and Spanish.Then, you’re shoved through a door into a mock art gallery party, where you’re forced to circulate among socialites, who, by design, treat you like animated furniture. The experiences is disorienting, humbling, slightly annoying — and too much to handle for some guests.
“The first night we ran people through was for patrons. People were really mad,” director Meghan Finn toldBrokelyn. “It is strenuous to get all the way up to the top. … There are people who protest, refuse to serve.”
The idea is to flip the script on art patrons and drop their status from attendee to server. But thinking that some people being too freaked out to hold a catering tray for a few minutes is actually scarier than the scene itself. (more…)
Few things could alleviate the stress of the coming election, save for maybe an acupuncture session or a Hallo-weekend binge drink. This video, however, manages to do some meaningful damage control on your politically-wrung psyche, while giving you an entirely different reason to scream.
Written by Bill Kirstein and Ginny Leise (a comedy gem, btw) and starring Leise alongside fellow comedian Jeff Solomon, “Smile” can best be described as an anti-catcalling horror film that somehow doubles as a Hillary campaign ad. The video starts out subtly, opening on a romantic guy getting getting his roses wrapped at the bodega. He walks out, sees a woman walking down the street, and decides to whisper in her ear as she passes him: “Smile.”
What happens next is pretty much indescribable, so make sure you watch this until the very end. We’re not sure how the future POTUS will feel when she sees this, but one thing’s for sure: This video arrived just in time for Hill-aween. (more…)