Rent one of your rooms out as a closet for a rich person

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Yo dawg, I heard you like closets, so we put a closet in your closet so you could browse while you browse

Last night was the season premiere of Mad Men, a show about rich people in various crises that is popular because we all want to be rich. But maybe we wouldn’t be if we read the Times Real Estate section regularly, since rich people have ridiculous problems. Like needing a closet so large they can fit a fish tank in it. It’s a crisis apparently, but as we all know, the Chinese have the same word for “crisis” and “opportunity”: crisitunity! And you can definitely take advantage of this particular crisitunity.

Observe this harrowing tale from a Manhattan couple who just didn’t have the space:

They were looking for a second apartment, not necessarily in the same building, to use as a closet for the wife’s sizable wardrobe.

They were in the market for a pied-à-closet.

Co-ops were out of the question, and even filling out rental applications proved to be tricky. “It’s very difficult to say, ‘Occupants: 1,000 pairs of Jimmy Choo shoes,’ ” Mr. Andrews said.

For $7,950 a month, the couple are now renting a two-bedroom condo a few blocks away on Madison Avenue from an owner who was not offended that his renters were using his home as a closet. “He thought it was funny,” Mr. Andrews said.

Now, you’ve got two options here: you can foam at the mouth and rant about rich people and talk about the revolution. Which is perfectly natural, but in this case won’t really get you anywhere. Your other option is to put down the Little Red Book and start undercutting people. $7,950/month for some shoe storage? Come across the river to Brooklyn my friend, and we’ll gladly put your shoes in a room for half that price.

Jesus, even at $2,000/month you’d never need a roommate again. Why do we have to resort to something like a micro-apartment if we want to afford living alone when there’s a whole world of shopping-addicted Buzz Bissingers out there who don’t know how to live within the limited space allotted to them? So get rid of your roommate and get that Craigslist listing up now, before these people wise up and start buying all the apartments in Brooklyn for closet space and force us to live underground like in Metropolis.

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