6 things we’re glad didn’t happen in Brooklyn

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Horn-rimmed glasses toss at the Hipster Olympics, in BERLIN. Take that, your expectations! Via TheLocal.de

Brooklyn sure takes a lot of flack here for being the epicenter of the overly hip happening (concerts at the center of a maze in a warehouse, for example) and the nexus of all intensely precious food trends (that damn mayonnaise shop again). Some of it is warranted, some of it is probably jealousy. It is nice, however, to remind ourselves that not every annoying trend comes from Kings County, like this past weekend’s Hipster Olympics, which happened so very far away in Berlin. Here, a list of 6 recent things we’re glad can’t be pinned on us.

1. The “Hipster Olympics,” which took place over the weekend in Berlin, featuring a horn-rimmed glasses toss, a tote bag race, an Apple-product Price Is Right game and a bubble tea dive.

Screenshot via Kare11 news.

2. A pregnancy test vending machine in a bar bathroom. A pub in Mankato, Minn. (not, thankfully, Park Slope) has installed a machine that dispenses the test for $3, which “gives you an informed decision at that point in time to stop drinking,” one advocate says. Apparently ladies in upscale bars are more likely to drink during pregnancy.

Yep, that’s the tap. Photo via DNA.info.

3. A cafe that sells only tap water. Such a place just opened in the East Village, where you can buy a “to-go glass” of water for $2.50. Or you can come by our house and we’ll spray you with the hose for $1. (Or just drink your free tap water. It’s some of the best the world, ya heard?).

Coffeelandia.

4. So much caffeine that it pollutes the water. We may consume seven times more coffee than the rest of the country, but at least we apparently handle our waste better: researchers in Oregon found “high levels of caffeine at two sites” off the coast of  Oregon (Portland!!), which could be affecting Marine life.

Looks like DieHipster got a street-team budget.

5. This ad campaign, toting things like “hipsters deserve to die,” and “cat lovers deserve to die.” It’s actually part of a campaign from the Lung Cancer Alliance that is meant to end in “No one is supposed to die.” But people in Chicago took none-too-kindly to the suggestion, deciding to rip the posters down themselves.

The actual doucheburger, via 666 Burger’s Facebook.

6. Douchefood: aka the $666 caviar, foie-gras and gold-leaf topped burger in Long Island City or the $2,300 hot dog covered in “sauerkraut braised in Louis Roederer Cristal and inflected with rare platinum oscetra caviar”from 230 Fifth in Manhattan. Just stay on your side of the bridge; we’ll keep our mayonnaise.

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4 COMMENTS

  1. Nice to see you totally missed the point of the doucheburger.

    You keep yer dirty hipsters and star tats…while us QNS cats will continue creating satire that goes over your heads.

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