If you’re anything like us, you wanted to be a super-cool rockstar when you were growing up. But you didn’t really ever learn to play the guitar because it’s hard and takes practice and who has the time when you could be playing Final Fantasy VIII? But, maybe you can act like you’re shredding on the guitar, which is easier. In that case, take your fake virtuoso skills up to Greenpoint’s Saint Vitus Bar (1120 Manhattan Avenue) for Thursday’s US Air Guitar Championship qualifier.
If you think you can be the very best, like no one ever was, at making people believe you’re playing guitar, then you can prove it at Saint Vitus on Thursday May 1 at 8pm. You can attend the qualifying round for $5, but, since we know how competitive you are, you’re more concerned with winning. It’s $10 to enter the competition, and you can sign up right here. Passing judgement on your air guitar skills will be a panel of judges as ruthless as they are metal: Star of the adult screen Stoya, former San Francisco air guitar champion Alex Koll and heavy metal magician Nigel Blackstorm.
If you’re unfamiliar with the rules of the air guitar championship world, it’s pretty simple. You pick a 60 second piece of a song and then shred your way through it as if you were holding a guitar. But you’re not, see, because it’s an air guitar. No drums allowed either, they’re very serious about that rule. If you win, not only do you get to go on to the next round and eventually possible the World Air Guitar championship in Finland, but you also might win the heart of Mayor Tall’s metalhead daughter Chiara.