This rodent hitman offers rat extermination holiday gift packages

Christmas is a great time for capitalism, and one savvy New Yorker has capitalized on the holiday spirit to sell brightly packaged rat extermination.

Happy Dead Rats has a straightforward goal: to find and kill rats in New York City, facts merrily proclaimed in a light red FAQ section on the company’s website, which is cheery in format and macabre in nature. Yes, you can set up a wedding registry, no Happy Dead Rats will not come to your house. Instead, you can pick from two “packages,” a $25 one in which you determine the neighborhood where the rat hitman will murder five rodents and one where Happy Dead Rats will simply, “kill the first five rats I find.”


In addition to taking rats off the streets, all orders come with a personalized certificate (delivered as a PDF or via snail mail) with the additional charge option for it to be gift wrapped and framed. Not yet available but allegedly coming soon are, “GPS coordinates to rat grave,” as well as “photo of tiny tombstone – ask about customization.”

The gift offers amusement and also a vague if bizarre effort at beautifying the city. But then, New York would not be New York – or at least it would be a New York producing far fewer viral videos – if rats were ever fully exterminated.

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