So you’ve just invested in your million-dollar Bed-Stuy dream townhouse. Wait, sorry, let’s try that again, in a more realistic way. So you and your 2 roommates just signed a lease for a $3200 2-bedroom in Bed-Stuy or Bushwick, and you’re excited about your cool new neighborhood and its uh…bright future. That is until you read the Post this morning and found out that despite what that friendly real estate agent told you, crime still exists in Bed-Stuy and Bushwick. “But they told me all the crime was gone!” you say to no one in particular in your suddenly unsafe apartment, as you prepare to become just another statistic.
Yes, despite those expensive new condos and home values shooting up to the stratosphere, shootings are up ten percent in the city. No, not in Bushwick and Bed-Stuy specifically, just citywide. Still, the Post made a collage for you by gluing together a few shootings in Bed-Stuy, a couple anonymous police talking about white people moving in and acting “like they own the place” before getting robbed, lifelong residents talking crime and of course including rising real estate values, so that you wind up both afraid of buying in Bed-Stuy or Bushwick but are also afraid to not buy because good God almighty prices are rising so buy buy buy!
In case you were wondering, the Post found some longtime residents who felt bad for people moving in and paying big bucks. One unnamed retail worker at Quincy Market told the paper of the big-spenders, “I feel bad for them…Why pay so much for so much trouble?”
The best quote though, came from the wise and perceptive Reginald McMillan, a 33-year Bed-Stuy resident. “Real estate can be a worse hustle than what goes on in the streets here at night.” Check out. After all, least your weed man won’t come over and then suddenly sell your pot for twice as much money as you agreed on to some shady attorney with a briefcase full of cash representing a Russian petrobaron looking to hide his ill-gotten wealth overseas.
Related Articles
Phil’s is a hidden gem on Knickerbocker
Serving up punchy drinks and classic cocktails.
Heavy metal yoga in a Bushwick bar saved my soul
I find that going to yoga is a lot like going to the post office: Sometimes you just can’t avoid it, but […]
Be “Irish” in your own borough: St. Patrick’s Day Guide for BK
Interested in parading around Manhattan in cheap, metallic shamrocks while drunk? Check this list.
3 Comments
Leave a Reply
“I’ve seen how fast the new neighbors are moving in,” she said. “More people like me are moving in and changing the neighborhood. So that’s comforting.”
So we’re not even pretending anymore that the ultimate goal isn’t to displace black people?
And where the hell does a 29-year-old web designer get the kind of dough to even consider buying a $1.3 million townhouse? A 20% down payment would be over a quarter million dollars! And she’d owe $6,452 every month for the next 30 years just to service the mortgage, let alone repairs, property tax, insurance, and every other crazy expense that comes with owning a house. The bubble is back.
I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I shall never own property.
20 percent down! Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Nobody puts 20 percent down. 3 percent tops.
And she’s only going to be there for three years before she sells
and moves to Austin or Dublin.
crime is so 80’s