So a couple of weeks ago, everyone got all eye-rolly when we told you guys about an artisanal mayo shop opening in Brooklyn, some declaring it the end of civilization, others moving to Queens and still others heading over for some bacon-infused egg- and-oil emulsification. Now there’s more news on the condiment front: there’s a whole festival devoted to mustard on Saturday, where you can slather mustard with green peppercorn on an artisanal (shut up) pretzel or mustard with Six Point beer on your tongue. Now, this is the kind of party we can actually kind of get behind, because mustard is so much better than mayo. Sharp, sophisticated, low-cal, vegan-friendly, and yet, the perfect wingman to pastrami, pretzels, hot dogs and more. Mayo, on the other hand, recalls gristly chicken salad, supermarket pasta salad, heartburn. Here’s the ultimate palatability test of any food: which would you rather eat before going on a roller coaster? See, mustard wins! Or does it? By the way, coffee is better than tea and dogs are better than cats.
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