So holiday season is yet again upon us, and we know what that means: the purchasing of turkeys, the entertaining of relatives you were pretty sure were dead, and so, so many holiday presents. Yes, true Brokelyners are already weeping for the potential income about to be flushed on the “feelings” of “others,” and to make up for these economic and seasonal drains, I’d recommend snapping up one of the many awesome jobs floating around Kings County! I’ve taken the liberty of rounding up some of the best of the week in one, easy, convenient location, much like how all of your Christmas gifts end up conveniently at that one store a block from your house on Christmas Eve.
Channel One News over at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt is recruiting for a Reporter to fill the ranks of their ongoing news series, and the job requires doing everything news-y you can imagine: pitching, writing, editing, and even appearing on-screen. If you’re deep into journalism and have weird, nerdy journalism-related tattoos, I’d highly recommend applying this job.
Gilt Groupe is looking for a merchandise planner to help manage their selection of exotic and artisanal versions of stuff you already have. Yes, your scarf collection will grow to worrying and unhealthy amounts, but it will be your job to manage the inventory of a site devoted to cool stuff, which by association is pretty cool. Some experience is required, but if you’ve got time spent in the internet/fashion world, you would probably have a shot.
Alright, now this one’s a little of the vague side, but have you ever wanted to work at a children’s book publisher? Is that literally your only requirement for your next job? This mystery children’s book company is hiring on an Administrative Assistant to help bring cheer to small children, and although some experience is required, that can be made up with design or accounting skills. Of course, the biggest test will be seeing if you can actually answer a phone there without asking people their favorite color.
For this next occupation, you’re going to have to ask yourself the hard questions: How ironic vs. serious are those cat-eye glasses on a chain you’ve got? Do you really, actually know what a Dewey Decimal System is? Why do you keep shushing me, I’m words on the internet? Do you have a Masters of Library Science? You can probably tell where I’m going with this: the Brooklyn Historical Society is hiring on a Reference Librarian, and you could be the person lucky enough to spread universal wisdom to a room full of dum-dums.
Are you interested in the finer things in life? If so, then you have probably chosen the most hilariously wrong website to visit besides the hobo fight audition page. However, if you’re a fan of writing about the finer things in life while wallowing in objective squalor, then good news! Luxury Daily is looking to hire on a new Editorial Assistant to tell people the best way to properly scoff at someone while also holding your monocle in place. They are willing to take on any recent college grads, so if you’re looking to break straight into your dream career as Jet Critic, this is a great place to start!
If you find that yacht critique is a little too 1% for you, try being a poor artist instead! If you’ve got some artsy talent and want to find a way to cash in on it, check out this digital products design studio‘s ad for a Studio Artist’s Assistant. The position involved a ton of technical art-making, so any recent art school grads are welcome to apply, just remember you’ve got to be skilled in everything from hyper-realism to the abstract, so in this case you would literally have to have the skills to pay the bills.
Does the thought of pink slime make your blood boil (much like actual pink slime will actually make your blood boil)? That’s excellent to hear because Slow Foods USA, defender of all things organic and hyper-local, is looking for a Communications Manager to help manage their online voice and gather their many well-nourished supporters. The job itself includes many different responsibilities, but with the job satisfaction of helping out the little guy, plus getting to work with people who really know how to cook good food, this sounds like a job you’d be crazy to pass up.