1. Literal genius George Saudners will be at St. Francis College to talk about his great writing, wave around his certificate declaring he’s a genius (Monday)
2. It’s warming up so it’s time to dance, and no more fitting dance party to do it at than Tropicante at Bembe (Monday)
3. Frank Grimes, or “Grimey” as you call him even though he hates it, comes on the scene at the latest screening of the Simpsons Club at Nitehwak (Monday)
4. The Cities + Speakers series at the Way Station welcomes anti-gun violence volunteer Tiffany Murray of SOS Crown Heights and a host of other do-gooders (Tuesday)
5. Reading series Animal Farm is embracing spring, like all of you are, with their latest show “Awaken Ye Spring!” So come help wake the season up (Tuesday)
6. Do better at faking historical events than the US did with the moon landing and you could win relationship advice from a put-upon couple at Bullshit History at Freddy’s (Tuesday)
7. Ample Hills is showing off their brand new cookbook at powerHouse Arena, so check that out and then bother the authors with questions about when that Gowanus location is opening (Wednesday)
8. It’s your last chance to play Freaks and Geeks bingo, but at least this is ending naturally because there’s no more shows, instead of abruptly because of network cowardice (Wednesday)
9. The Gowanus Swim Society is actually an art collective, not people who dive in to the canal, but hey, why not go check out their art show (Thursday)
10. Learn the horror of having children at a pregnancy movie double feature night at Videology, with screenings of Proxy and Rosemary’s Baby (Thursday)
11. Author Nathan Pyle will teach you important New York etiquette like how much to tip your tattoo artist, at the release of his NYC etiquette book at WORD (Thursday)
12. If you’re so excited about JD Samson playing the Brooklyn Bridge Park dance parties that you just can’t wait to dance near her, head to Union Pool where she’ll be DJing at PAT (Thursday)
13. Spend an evening with upbeat man of one thousand smiles Leonard Cohen as Greenlight screens a short documentary on him before hosting a discussion of new book about him A Broken Hallelujah (Thursday)
14. Jean Grae takes the stage at DanDillLions Comedy at Red Star bar in Greenpoint, and you can get warmed up for her with a free shot of Fire Eater whiskey if you get there early enough (Friday)
15. Babeland is teaching you how to do some tricks with the Rabbit Vibrator, because if Easter isn’t actually about sex moves, we don’t want to know otherwise (Friday)
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