New Williamsburg gets dose of old Williamsburg crime

Look at these fucking hipsters
Look at these fucking hipsters

“Bring back the old New York!” grumbles everyone unsatisfied with the Taylor Swift(boat)-ing of the city, from the most jaded one-eyed bartender to the wettest behind the ears newbie who honestly probably shouldn’t be saying that. The crumbling infrastructure, the threat of bankruptcy everywhere, Ed Koch personally asking “How’m I doin’?” while fending off rumors about his sexuality. And of course, the crime.

Well, we can’t bring back all of it, least of all Ed Koch, but New Williamsburg got a taste of the Old Williamsburg this weekend, as Mob Wives human London Rene was stabbed at Output, according to TMZ. Yep, the era of TMZ reporting on Williamsburg has begun!

Rene is the boyfriend of mob wife Natalie Guercio, who according to this very comprehensive Wikipedia writeup of Mob Wives, is a cast member in the show’s fourth and fifth seasons. TMZ says that Rene was slashed with a box cutter on his face arm and stomach. He survived the attack, which is good, since it’s not like we want anyone to die just while trying to hang out in a club.

So on the one hand, mob crime in Brooklyn, just like people want! On the other hand, it’s reality TV mob crime, which sure ain’t The Godfather. As for us, we still can’t get over the fact that Williamsburg is TMZ territory, but we guess since the neighborhood is now the land of hedge fund bros, disgraced heads of state and a ridiculous J. Crew, of course it’s TMZ territory now.

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