It’s December, but it’s never too early to start thinking about summer and the beach and the ocean. And while summer maybe loses a little but of its luster as an adult because you can’t fuck off and spend all day at the beach, we’ve got the next best thing for you. The city is hiring lifeguards to keep people safe/act as the Fun Police all summer, and as long as you can swim with the best of them, you could find yourself with a beach job from Memorial Day to Labor Day.
Like becoming a Jedi or a firefighter, before you can become a lifeguard, there are plenty of tests you have to pass. First is the qualifying test, which you can take at a number of locations around Brooklyn between December 10 and January 10. There, you’ll prove you have at least 20/30 vision in one eye and 20/40 in the other (without glasses or contacts) and you can swim 50 yards in 35 seconds or less in the proper form. Also you have to be at least 16, which we figure you have taken care of, unless you’re a #coolteen who reads Brokelyn.
If you can pass the qualifying test, then you can take the Municipal Lifeguard Training Program, a free 40 hour program that teaches you CPR, first aid and swimming and rescue techniques. And finally, after you pass that, you have to take the final tests, which involve a written exam along with swimming 440 yards in 6 minutes and 40 seconds and a 300-yard ocean swim. Finally, after that you can be a certified genuine New York City beach lifeguard who hangs out on the beach like you’re getting paid for it. Oh that’s because you will be getting paid for it, to the tune of $650/week as your starting salary. If you get the job, just remember not to get caught getting high on the job. It’s not that hard.