'Hipster Dust' is a vegan spice mix, not an awesome new drug

5:1 odds that it's just salted sawdust. via Facebook — 5:1 odds that it’s just salted sawdust. via Facebook

Did you think that 2013 would maybe feature a little less ridiculous food news in your life? Well, you were certainly wrong about that one. Doing their best to knock artisanal mayo and Red Hook-scented beard oil off the perch of “most ridiculous Brooklyn-based product available” comes Hipster Dust. What is hipster dust? A “vegan spice mixture” created in a kitchen in Williamsburg. Sure.

Never mind the fact that you have to try really hard to make a spice out of animal products, who is the target audience for something called hipster dust? Foodies with no sense of shame? Or a really heavy sense of irony? Moms in suburban kitchens trying to look cool to their disaffected teenage kids? The website doesn’t offer much about the product except for some glowing recommendations from some foodies we’ve never heard of (natch) and a picture of some Wayfarer sunglasses (again, natch).

Also confusing is why the spice mixture is vegan if half of the recipes that are being promoted for use with hipster dust are non-vegan. It’s five bucks for a two-ounce tin that looks like something you’d keep your actual drugs in, so at forty bucks a pound it’s certainly expensive enough to be a joke on foodies. But who knows, maybe this is real and the people behind it are just trying to reclaim “hipster.” Anyway, we’ll be on the lookout for their food truck at McCarren Park this summer, because of course that’s what’s going to happen next, right?