This Statue of Liberty luxury condo promotional site is far too convincing

by -
0
Via One Liberty

That this Statue of Liberty luxury condo marketing site requires a double take tells you everything you need to know about the grim realities of America’s current definition of freedom as well as the New York real estate market. In a parody that, in a better world, would be more obviously a joke, Elite Daily Senior Humor Writer Connor Toole and comedian Evan Krumholz have created a promotional site for One Liberty™, Lady Liberty’s remodeled luxury condo future.

“Give us your inspired, your influencers, your trendsetters looking for the latest in luxury living space,” the site heralds, promoting such amenities as, “bespoke interiors, stainless steel appliances and a 24-7 concierge.” One Liberty™ residents will also have access to “Spicy Mustard™,” a hot dog cart concept by David Chang, and private party access on the “crowntop terrace”.

________

Everything and anything have a potential future as luxury condos. Via One Liberty
Everything and anything have a potential future as luxury condos. Via One Liberty

And don’t forget about the most obvious draw of living in the Statue of Liberty: you’ll be located in the up-and-coming neighborhood of Liberty Island, which is prime for not one but two catchy acronyms, Stali OR LiBi – move in to find out which one ends up sticking.

The iconic New York statue is shedding its reputation as a beacon for weary immigrants and welcoming new, “essentials like SoulCycle™, Juice Press™, and a Kith™ pop-up,” the site proclaims, meaning it’ll be following in the footsteps of so many overly-gentrified neighborhoods before it. Emigrants from both Brooklyn and Manhattan are welcome. Isn’t capitalism wonderful? Talk about second chances!

The luxury real estate industry truly has boundless imagination, folks! Their reach is limited by no man nor government regulation – next up, we foresee the conversion of those street dog houses into luxury condos. Not as much pun-making opportunity or space, but where there’s New York property, no matter how small, there’s a way to make a marketing campaign.

________

"Immigrate to luxury." Via One Liberty
“Immigrate to luxury.” Via One Liberty

Related Articles

0

For the ironically self-aware Millennial hipster seeking to be less deplorable by embracing their deplorability.

1

Itching to write a thought piece about how Brooklyn is beautiful, dead, and everything in between? Here are some pro tips.

0

According to Yelp's community standards, it's possible to separate food and politics even in the case of lighting rod restaurants like Summerhill.

0

You could buy an overpriced one-bedroom in Prospect Heights, or you could buy these two waterfalls upstate.

NO COMMENTS

Leave a Reply