Hey Ted Cruz, here are some New York values for ya!

Via Flickr user Muhajir Sayer.
Throw up the V for values. Via Flickr user Muhajir Sayer.

Ted Cruz has problems with New York values! He thinks the city is “socially liberal, pro-abortion and pro-gay marriage” which isn’t true for the entire city of course, it’s just that everyone here has better things to do than be intolerant. He also says we’re obsessed with the media, which is true, because that’s how you read things, and money, which no one else in the country obsesses about.

But Ted Cruz?? You got a problem with New York City values?? Cruzin’ for a bruizin’ is what they’ll call you in New York. Well I’ll tell ya we got some of the best values in the country. Cram these New York City values in your caucus hole: 

$1 dollar. Value.
$1 dollar. Value.

A dollar slice of pizza, one of the best values in town!


A MetroCard

You can travel 154.6 miles on a single swipe. That’s .02 cents a mile. What a value!


HELLOOO VINCE STAPLES #NorthsideFest #nside [📷: @meghannn]

A photo posted by (@brokelyn) on

A Northside Festival badge, just $60 right now for 450 bands and unlimited summer optimism, which makes it just 13 cents a band, a great value!


Reason # 112 I love #NYC: having a bag of dirt cheap Prosperity Dumplings in the freezer.

A photo posted by Snap Hot Dogs (@snaptruck) on

Dumplings, 8 for $2, a 25-cent-a-dumpling value! Wow!


Universal pre-k, saving people up to $12,000 a year. That’s a value!


Long week well needed. #blueribbon #shots #love #hubby

A photo posted by Steph✨ Valdez 💁 (@ste_pha_nie) on

Beer and shot specials, only $3 at Gotham City Lounge. Cheers to that value!



The Brooklyn Cocktail Book, $25 for 2-for-1 drinks at more than 25 bars.


#freebuttstuff #buttstuff #bk

A photo posted by Hannah Duke (@worstduke) on

Sunday nights at Full Circle Bar, when the drinks are $4 and skeeball is free all night. If you play 100 games, that’s a $100 value!


The ability to walk around in a big messy city and mostly get along in a functioning, efficient way while still respecting each other and making cool stuff like hip hop musicals about founding fathers. Now talk about values!

It’s almost like Ted Cruz doesn’t even know New York. Never forget:

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