Where is Taylor Swift when the city needs her?

Last night if you were hanging out online, you probably came across New York Magazine‘s devastating story in which they spoke to and photographed 35 women accusing Bill Cosby of rape and sexual assault. This morning though, you couldn’t read it. What people thought was just high demand turned out to be a DDOS attack by a hacker, but not just any hacker. This hacker claims to have a burning hatred for all things New York City due to a bad experience he had as a tourist here, and says he’ll continue to strike at any and all websites and businesses that have “New York” in their name.

Someone needs to talk this person down, before we face a future where the latest Style section or Andrea Peyser hate read isn’t available on the websites of the New York Times or New York Post, and as luck might have it, we’re supposed to have that hero waiting in the wings. Yet she’s been strangely silent at the moment. So if no one else will ask, we will: Where is our global tourism ambassador Taylor Swift to deal with this spurned tourist?

Laugh all you want, but when you’re done, consider the question. Isn’t this the exact kind of thing that ambassadors are hired to do? Diplomacy and negotiations? It’s not all teaching people how to say “bodega” and singing empty pop songs about the city that even fans agree are pretty weak. Being an ambassador sometimes means stepping up and talking to distasteful people, people who tell the Daily Dot bizarre stories like this:

ThreatKing said his hatred of New York City is based on a visit to the city gone wrong. “I went to new York 2 months ago. It was really bad,” ThreatKing said. “Someone pranked me. Everyone started laughing and shit. The first 10 hours being there. Some African-American tried to prank me with a fake hand gun.”

That’s why, he said, he “[wants] to see people die at [sic] New York.” “I’ve seen many pranks gone wrong at new york. That got me pissed. That’s why I chose New York.”

Time was, someone threatened the well-being of New York City business or residents, he’d get a visit from our previous global welcome ambassador, Bernie Goetz. Apparently though, our global welcome ambassadors are cut from a different cloth these days. That’s all well and good, but instead of making any public statements about this angry tourist, Taylor Swift has not issued any statement on any of her social media platforms, at least according to the most recent posts.

We understand not wanting to give away your entire negotiating tactic, but at least tell the fine people of New York City (YOUR EMPLOYERS) that you’re working on getting the situation under control, rather than stony silence. New Yorkers need to know you’re on the job, that we can continue to be unhinged about tourists without fear of any kind of retribution. That job is your job, Taylor Swift. Unless of course, you’re not up for crisis management. Unless of course, you thought being our global welcome ambassador was going to be easy and can’t handle it now. If that’s the case, we need the de Blasio administration to appoint a new welcome ambassador for tourism, someone who’s willing to speak her mind, rock the boat and won’t stand down in the face of threats. Someone who’s from here, who appreciated New York City for being more than just another stopover in her adventurous life. Someone like, say…Nicki Minaj.

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