Eat free apple cider donuts until you explode in McCarren Park this weekend

All you can eat sushi and brunch spots appeal to our eyes but then often end up still hurting our wallets, our stomach’s incapable of breaking the cost effective algorithm used to price the buffet. As capitalism reminds us time and again, there’s no such thing as free lunch, so where can a girl go if she just wants to eat gross amounts of the same type of food until she is rendered physically incapable of consuming anymore? Promotional food eating contests, of course.

This weekend, the Parks Department and GrowNYC Greenmarket are hosting a Harvest Festival which will include an apple cider donut eating contest in McCarren Park, where you can take out your self hatred in the most delicious manner possible by forcing your body to process a ridiculous quantity of sugar. (Local sugar, too – the donuts come from Williams Fruit Farm upstate.) Registration, which is free, is open to all who deem themselves ready and able to face the challenge. If this sounds appealing to you, you can register on-site during the festival – which will be go from 10am to 2pm this Saturday, October 28 – in the market info tent. Best to get there by 11am, if you’re committed to competitive consumption.

For those of you turned vegetarian by attending the beloved if often difficult to watch Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, this contest should be a little easier on the eyes and dietary restrictions. Without the summer heat, the hordes of bros venturing into Brooklyn for the occasion, and the overwhelming circus vibe, the donut consumption this weekend can be expected to be far less intense than the 4th of July contest.

In addition to the mass digestion of donut and cider, the family-friendly event will also feature pumpkin painting, live music and a Greenmarket Selfie Station. Eating contest winners will be awarded with their own dignity.

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