What you see above is someone who stole some packages from a Clinton Hill apartment building. The footage is sped up, but you’ll notice the thief spent a bunch of time just hangin’ out, twerking, in preparation for the thievery. Or maybe she was just there twerking, as you do, and her and her dude decided to steal stuff out of someone’s packages. Either way, the victim, Lindsay Riddle, told Gothamist that she was out there doing this for an hour before coming in from the cold to steal some stuff. That must be one warm fur coat. Anyway, welcome to de Blasio’s New York, Lhota was right, etc. etc.