Hey cats, fire up the Instagrands, pop open your Fourscores and prepare to make some videotape on Vine dot com, because Coney Island will soon be bursting with “hip” spots, according to this story about the new chains coming to Coney Island. I know, finally, right?? God that place was boring before. I am going to apply for one Kickstarter to afford all this hipness. Chains such as:
–It’Sugar
–Johnny Rockets
–Red Mango
-Official NBA-branded merchandise store
–Applebeee’s
Oh but wait, the Applebee’s has a shark tank in it, so that’s pretty cool, because you can choose the fresh food you want to eat and they make it right there. LOL no, that would be more accurate if there were a Dumpster full of microwaves with boil-in-bag frozen vegetables swimming in trash juice, their natural habitat.
So “hip” is a nonsense word now, thanks Daily News. I’ve already ranted until my face is blue about what the Myrtle Beach-ification of Coney Island means (hint: it blows), so you should just read that here and save me the coronary.
Follow Tim on the twitter dot com: @timdonnelly
Related Articles
Siren call: cool snaps from the 2018 Coney Island Mermaid Parade
“I only mark the hours that shine.” – Little Edie Beale
Coney Island’s famous Spookarama is now in VR
It pains me to say this but the days of many of our nation’s beloved amusement rides are numbered. One way or another, […]
How to get a job in Coney Island this summer (and ride the Cyclone for free)
Ever wanted to run away to the circus when you were a kid? Here in New York, it’s only a train ride […]
Leave a Reply