1. Even if you somehow hate music and produce, go to Turnip the Beet Rooftop Concert to at least salute that masterful pun. (Friday)
2. Show ManBoobs, featuring Danny Tamberelli, some support at their comedy show at Union Hall. (Friday)
3. Find out if comedy/rock show Birthnado is as terrifying as whatever you visualize when you see the word “Birthnado.” (Friday)
4. Rooftop Films is screening Mateo, about a white guy who picks up mariachi music in prison and goes busking in Cuba. (Friday)
5. Online Fighting is a play about gamers, not trolls, but don’t let that discourage you from taking a breather from mauling the Brokelyn comments section to check the play out. (Friday)
6. Show how disturbingly well you know the lyrics to every Madonna and Michael Jackson single at this sing-along. (Friday)
7. This balloon party in Crown Heights with 3,000 LED-filled balloons looks like it’ll be (wait for it) poppin. (Saturday)
8. 10,000 KM follows a couple as they try to maintain their relationship over Skype. Uh oh. (Saturday)
9. The Brick has a tabletop role playing night. They say newbies are welcome, so your first fake role doesn’t have to be that of someone who knows how tabletop role playing works. (Saturday)
10. This 90s dance party well be serving the official drink of the decade–gin & juice–all night long. (Saturday)
11. If you can handle seeing someone called DJ Spider after the Park Slope tarantula panic, see them at Output. (Saturday)
12. Deltron 3030 is showing up to Prospect Park to bring futuristic jams and an awesome vision of the hip-hop future to your area. (Saturday)
13. Get a free massage and maybe even buy stuff at Greenpointers Summer Market. (Sunday)
14. It’s July, which means summer is dying one muggy day at a time. Embrace winter’s steady march into our souls with twelve rare Christmas ales (and a gift drive, bring a gift) at Covenhoven.(Sunday)
15. Jurassic Park is 21-years-old, so celebrate by getting drunk with it and playing Juarassic Park bingo at Videology. (Sunday)
16. Home brew warriors the Knights of Brüklyn are holding their fourth annual home brew competition to see who among them can make the best beer at their castle. Keep your sword at home though. (Sunday)
17. Presentation Party Night takes on the issues you have been losing sleep over, like melons of summer and beer sustainability. (Sunday)
18. The No Fun Film Club is taking a look at the work of BRTHR, the directors behind music videos for Iggy Azalea, Angel Haze, and Jessie Ware. (Sunday)
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Today’s reminder of my mortality is brought to you by The Fact That Jurassic Park is 21 Years Old.