Coney Island Brewery announces debut of canned mermaid, commencing April Fool’s season

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It's 96% fat free and sustainably caught: no mermaids were harmed in the making of this product. Photo via Harris Farms Market
It's 96% fat free and sustainably caught: no mermaids were harmed in the making of this product. Photo via Harris Farms Market
It’s 96% fat free and sustainably caught: no mermaids were harmed in the making of this product. Photo via Harris Farms Market

It almost definitely won’t be the best prank of the year, but as far as we can tell it is the first: Coney Island Brewery sent out a press release this morning announcing their move into food production with the debut of their newest product, Siren of the Sea, a gourmet line of canned mermaid.

Each 12-ounce can of Siren of the Sea contains filet of wild, scale-free mermaid tail packed in filtered East River water, with a touch of glitter for added flavor. It will be located next to canned tuna, salmon and chicken.

“While we’re always looking to craft innovative and unique new beer recipes, we thought it was time to expand to the food industry, and being situated by the beach, mermaid made the most sense,” said Jess Puleio, Senior Mermaid of Coney Island Brewery. “We listened to our fans, tapped into the fisherman of the Steeplechase Pier next to the brewery, and combined it with some old-fashioned ingenuity to bring a great new product to market.”

unnamedThe prank (can you call it a prank if it reveals itself for being a prank?) harkens back to Animal Planet’s notorious 2013 mockumentaries purporting evidence of the existence of mermaids, a prank which successfully fooled many viewers.

It also harkens to the fact that many tuna brands have co-mingled a variety of meat products with images of mermaids to the point where whether brands like Chicken of the Sea Tuna and Sirena Tuna are chicken, tuna, or mermaid is genuinely confusing for some children and probably a few adults too.

If there are mermaids in New York, prank or nah, hopefully this false-advertisement is added incentive to swim away to cleaner, friendlier waters. Australia sounds nice.

 

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