The butts, boobs and body paint of the 2015 Mermaid Parade

Some people took their newfound fishdom pretty seriously. Photos by David Colon

As you might have seen on Twitter, we didn’t just get to enjoy the Mermaid Parade in a haze of drunken irresponsibility this year. No, this year we enjoyed the Mermaid Parade as judges, which as it turns out, still means a good amount of of drunken irresponsibility, but also there are free tacos. And bribes, lots of people just giving you things like alcohol, candy, sexy dances and flowers in the hopes you’ll vote for their float or costume. Also we could get closer to the parade than usual. Still, our judging duties weren’t going to keep up from getting plenty of pictures of the day, since it lets us relive all the madness and share what we saw with anyone who couldn’t make it.

A fellow judge was smart enough to bring a sign encouraging bribes:

So we improvised with our official judge shirt:

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The parade, as usual started off with an array of classic cars, some old:

Some beach-y:

And some where a baby was probably made:

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Then the parade started in earnest, led by Coney Island’s unofficial mayor Dick Zigun

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This pirate gave out plastic roses in an attempt to get votes:

On the other hand, The Sexcamaids brought an entire bar with bottles and bottles of a coconut rum mixed drink to the judges. Needless to say, they were popular.

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There was a country element to the parade, with both the Mermalopes:

and this terror tractor thing:

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Movie references could be found all over, from The Codfather (who bribed the judges with cannoli):

to a Ghostbuster:

to travelers from the broken world of Mad Mad: Fury Road:

to The Bluefish Brothers, complete with nuns and cop car:

and even The Warriors came out to play:

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Of course, there were boobs:

and butts:

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There were politics:

Despite that, the Mermaid Parade was still a great place for kids who have already been born:

ones yet to be born:

and dog children:

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And we’d be crazy not to give a shoutout to Rockaway Beach, who showed up as Punkrockaway, with a huge group of marchers and a motorized float carrying a live band. They bribed us with a dollar, but it wasn’t necessary, n0t for a float that’s so fucking punk (we still took it though, duh):