Fuck Victoria’s Secret. Yeah I said it. Although, I do still like their undies, they hit my curves (cellulite) just right, okay?! But when it comes to tits, fuck ‘em. They keep saying I’m a 36B. At 5 ft 2 inches and 166 pounds … I ain’t no 36B. I ain’t never gunna be a B36. A sales associate with a pink measuring tape, a bra fitter does not make. We know that boob sizes don’t end at DD, Victoria. We know that band sizes don’t stop at 40. And we sure as hell aren’t going to be made to feel lesser than just because we have big tits.
You know what Victoria’s secret really is? It’s simple really. That they don’t care if they sell you an ill-fitting bra; to them you are just another link in the chain that gets them closer to that almighty $$$. But you’re better than that and our jugs deserve the world. Do the best for your Brooklyn breasts (and your Brooklyn community), and hit up the local stores that actually care. Supporting local business and your F cup breasts, while looking fine as f*@k! (Smaller boobed ladies will also benefit from the added love of getting fitted by locals who know what they’re doing and want to give you a quality brazier that won’t mess up your back.)
366 Atlantic Ave., Boerum Hill
Iris Clarke is the Statue of Liberty for boobs. From her store door, snuggled underneath a bridal shop in Boreum Hill, you can hear her singing, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free!” (How has it taken us so long to realize that “huddles masses” symbolized our boobs suffocating in a constricted bra?) With decades of experience, starting with corsets, Iris can eyeball your size with just a glance at your chest. Walk away from the consumer-driven Victoria’s Secret up the block at Atlantic Center and embrace the individual care you will receive from Iris and her employees.
The Rack Shack
155 Central Ave., Bushwick
Owner Lauren Henry was inspired by the confidence she felt when wearing a correct fitting bra. And thus, The Rack Shack is all about that body positivity and teaching women to be comfortable in their own bodies in clothes. The Rack Shack carries sexy and fun bras sizes 28 to 38HH, so most won’t leave empty-handed or improperly supported (tits and souls). You can even rent out the place for bachelorette parties! They used to sell sneakers too, but that proved less than lucrative. Note: They are closed on Tuesdays.
119 Columbia St., Columbia Waterfront District
Susie Plaisted’s Winkworth has been providing unique textiles and designs for women for the past 10 years. Plaisted pairs her love of travel and lingerie by finding unique fabrics and textiles throughout the world. Every few month’s, Winkworth puts on a Lingerie Cocktail Showcase. Meet clients old and new while enjoying music, booze and models for an intimate evening filled with lingerie. Currently, there is no online option to order from Winkworth, but according to the website the ability to shop online will be coming soon. Susie even makes a dig at Victoria’s Secret on her website, so you know this woman gets it.
Brooklyn Fox Lingerie
200 Bedford Ave., Williamsburg
Like all the lingerie stores you are going to find on this list, Brooklyn Fox cares about you. Their main goal is less the final sale than a good fit. You will be fitted. You will be measured. And you will be given the utmost care ensuring that your boobies are in good hands and properly cushioned in the correct cup size. Their collection is sexy and chic. Once you’ve been fitted in-house you can browse their selection online whenever you please. Go into your next work week feeling foxy and fine with your skimpy L’Agent Layla bodysuit underneath your slacks.
937 Kings Highway, Midwood
Are you shocked yet by how many great shops there are for your boobies? I was too. Jazee Bras is another great store to add to your list of bra shops to visit. Get ready to treat your tit’taes to a feast of colors and designs ranging in sizes from 32A to 50H. You know what that means… you get a bra! And you get a bra! And you! Jazee Bras is like the Uniqlo for bras (in that they provide free alterations to all purchases and are decently priced too). Be done with wayward bunches of fabric. Jazee Bras employees are equipped with expert advice for undergarment needs including mastectomy bras and prostheses.
Olga’s Corset and Specialty Shop
2753 Nostrand Ave., Midwood
Think Cheers, but for bras: With over 40 years as a business under its belt, Olga’s personal touch has weathered the ever-changing economic climate over the decades (not to mention Olga’s is located deep in the heart of Brooklyn, out beyond the hipster masses). Like Iris’s, most of the employees can size you up with a simple glance. An on-site seamstress awaits your next request. The store is filled to the brim with lingerie options, including mastectomy bras, swimsuits, and underwear of all shapes and sizes. Regulars flow in and out of the doors knowing Olga will satisfy their latest needs.
937 Flatbush Ave, Flatbush
Located in Flatbush off the B/Q at Church Ave., Diva Lingerie specializes in plus sizes. (Even though, let’s get real, “plus sizes” are bullshit. A size is just a motherfucking size, stop trying to make people feel lesser than because they don’t fit into some arbitrary number that you deemed acceptable, society/fashion industry/Kendall Jenner.) That being said, Diva Lingerie’s staff is patient, personable, and their inventory is very Brokelyn affordable compared to other shops on this list.
The Lingerie Shop
5012 New Utrecht Ave. and 4813 13 Ave., Boro Park
Don’t let the name deceive you; The Lingerie Shop covers all your needs from lingerie to bathing suits, skirts to camper sleepwear, and everything in between. Your tots, tits, and teens are covered as well. Need new clothes for your kid? Check. A t-shirt bra for two favorite girls (your boobs)? Check. You’re a busy business wife/mom/woman/lover of cheese, so kill two birds with one stone (unless you’re vegan) and get some lingerie and your toddlers back to school clothes all in the same lingerie shop? Oh wait, it’s 2017, make the guys clothes shop for the kiddies and titties. Located in a camp or bungalow colony? The Lingerie Shop will deliver to you.
130 Grand St, Williamsburg
Walk into a sea of sexuality at Narcisse because, well, it’s a sex shop with a shit ton of options. Speaking of options, they have a crap ton of bras. Narcisse is the shop for you when you’re trying to be S.E.X.U.A.L. Swoop in and grab a see-through bra (is that an oxymoron?), a robe to lounge in for after sexy time, a sexy thong for the wedding (cause duh, the sex was so good your partner was like “damn, I’mma marry them”) and a swimsuit for the honeymoon. This isn’t your boobie shop for everyday use bras, this shop is for your “heyyyyyyyy, I am a sexual being” bras.
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