Broad City Season 3, Episode 1: So surreal, but at the same time so real

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Broad City is back! Time to celebrate in whatever room you deem appropriate.

It’s been 10 whole months without fresh gifs, but Broad City is back, bitches! In addition to definitely being the best show to grace television since the beginning of time, it’s also the by far most aligned with the esteemed Brokelyn worldview, and we are here. 4. It. This season, we’re sharing our favorite moments from new episodes each week, cuz this stuff speaks to our hearts, you guys.

Much to the binge-watching pleasure of our future selves, season 3 picks up right where season 2 left off, the two broads on the toilet wearing St. Marks tees. But lest you escape into perfect, absurdist comedy too quickly and forget that it’s an election year, both Ilana and Abbi demonstrate their support for Kween Hillary (who is making a guest appearance later this season) during an extended bathroom montage that proves they couldn’t be more real. And it keeps going uphill from there!

Can we just say? For alleged broke slackers, these broads spend so much time in Manhattan. The episode opens with brunchtime at Galli, which is in straight-up SoHo — like, inches from Bloomies. What? Fine. Ilana brings it back down to earth by living an all-too-legit NYC fear: dropping her bike lock key down a sewer grate. The girls try (and fail) to fish it out, and Abbi’s blouse is suctioned to the grate by a mysterious force in the process.

“She is unreal, this girl,” Ilana says. “She really is,” says a voice from beneath. It was a really life-affirming sewer grate, even if it fucked up her shirt.

For the rest of the day, we’re along for the journey as Abbi and Ilana make their way to a gallery show, encountering familiar challenges like surviving a sample sale, dealing with the lingering impact of the Sex & the City trapeze school episode, the trauma of trying to find a public bathroom and eventually faking their way through appreciating a friend’s high “art.”

The episode is called Two Chainz, and we’re not entirely sure we understand why. Like, we get it, but do we really get it? Ilana spends the entire episode with an actual chain around her waist, having dropped the key into the sewer. Simultaneously, she rants about the “metaphysical chains” of oppressed Saudi women she read about on the internet. Is the script just making fun of our entire generation’s bumbling entitlement and Vice addiction? Probably, but like, what else is new? Either way, there shouldn’t be anything about Broad City we would understand better less stoned.

We picked out the references you may have missed, the moments we’re still talking about and the gifs you need in your life right now:

Moment that made us scream YAS, QUEEN: When a pervy truck driver close-range cat-calls Abbi with “nice ass,” she shouts back, “YEAH, I KNOW.”

broad city i know nice ass

Inside-NYC joke your friend who doesn’t live here but loves this show won’t understand: They essentially made an entire episode about how hard it is to find a place to pee in this city. I mean, c’mon. Who do we call about this? de Blasio? Taylor Swift? Help us, Lin-Maunel Miranda!

Best Pop Culture Reference: #TheDress, you guys! Remember the dress?!

Brooklyn comedian cameo you might have missed: Michelle Buteau, a badass comic you can see around NYC and everywhere, serves resting bitch face as the hostess at Galli.

Best Cameo: Musician Har Mar Superstar as the shirtless art guy! What the fuck was that about? No idea! Don’t care!

art broad city har mar superstar

Best Lincoln line: “You look like a DMX video extra.”

Actual real New York thing that got super, super real: Dropping your bike keys down a sewer grate is actually, like, the worst. But did you see all that blood at the end as Ilana tried to shimmy out of the chain? Gross. (Hey, if this actually happens to you, we’d suggest a more precise method of retrieval: just tie a small magnet to a string and go fishing.)

Raddest Name for Ilana’s Bike We Didn’t Know She Had: Bichael Jackson 🚴

Spotify sync: Hold on, are you not listening to Lizzo yet? Her song “Let ‘em Say” (ft. Caroline Smith) is this episode’s opening number, a song about dealing with haters and the starter for your spring playlist.

Best Callback: The opening montage was a goddamn treasure trove complete with a shot of Ilana straightening her pubes, which you’ll remember as something she tried last season on behalf of her employer, Deals, Deals, Deals! (Come on, that’s a thing by now, right?)

Gif we need right now more than we’ve needed anything, ever:

broad city truck

But seriously though, who would hang out in Meatpacking without, like, your family? This episode scores a zero for outer-borough realness. At least we have this:

Meghan is definitely more of an Ilana, but everyone tells her she looks like Abbi. Follow her on Twitter: @Meghannn.

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  1. Fortunately, I remember there being a lot less blood when I helped someone get a bike lock off from around her waist. Unfortunately, I did the “two people ride on a bike without pegs” thing twice and both times they ended in disaster.

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