BK Top 5: The best things to do tonight, from a punk rock Christmas to a holiday brawl

We’re one more day closer to Christmas, and you can really see it on the Brokelyn Events Calendar, where it seems totally inescapable. Eh, that’s alright, because you’re one day closer to the end of a short week, and then there’s a short week after that. So when you think about it, you kind of get two Christmas miracles. Anyway, go out and have fun tonight, because it’s December and it’s warm and who knows when this will happen again (maybe forever, but we’ll figure that out later).

OH MY SCIENCE
Did you make a New Year’s resolution to kill God in 2015? Well I regret to inform you that it doesn’t look like it’s gonna happen this year. But! You can still head to Videology and throw some punches at him as Oh My Science’s Dan Silver does a “Science-Based Winter Solstice Celebration of Real Things” that will attempt to answer the season’s big questions with facts instead of prayers.
9:30pm, Videology, 308 Bedford Avenue, Williamsburg, FREE

CHRISTMAS VS. HANUKKAH
What’s the better winter holiday, Christmas or Hanukkah? You could somehow engineer things so that a few Lubavitchers tangle with the Hipster Jesus wing of the Roman Catholic Church, but that seems wrong somehow. Instead, just let Freddy’s try to settle things with a party tonight that will feature a DJ, some burlesque repping each denomination and beer specials from Smuttynose and Schmaltz.
8pm, Freddy’s Bar, 627 5th Avenue, South Slope, FREE

HALYARDS CINEMATHEQUE PRESENTS: A CHRISTMAS STORY
You probably know the story of A Christmas Story, the heartwarming tale of a boy who desperately wants a gun for Christmas more than anything else in the world and the way it blows up in his face. And while you might have watched it and pounded a few beers during a lonely Christmas, Halyards is giving you a chance to watch it and pound beers with other people by turning it into a drinking game. Look out for profanity, the movie’s famous pink bunny suit and furnace problems, because that’s when it’s time for you to drink.
8pm, Halyards, 406 3rd Avenue, Gowanus, FREE

A VERY RARE JEAN GRAE SHOW WHERE JEAN GRAE PERFORMS MUSIC FOR TWO HOURS (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH OTHER THINGS JEAN GRAE DOES.)
You might be of the age that you don’t realize that Jean Grae started her career doing music before she started doing comedy and hosting talk shows. Or maybe you do remember when she did music and you’ve been hoping she’d come back to it at some point. Well here’s your big chance to learn or love, because she’s heading down to the Union Hall basement for an astounding two hour musical performance. She’ll probably tell some jokes too, because she’s witty enough for stage banter, but mostly this will be a long rap show in an intimate basement. Lucky you.
8:30pm, Union Hall, 702 Union Street, Park Slope, $20

A VERY DIY CHRISTMAS
Just because you like Christmas and Christmas music doesn’t mean that you can’t classify yourself as punk as fuck. Don’t believe me? Well, that’s fine, buy you’re gonna have to take it up with Christmas punks Santa Youth, who are bringing a mohawked version of Christmas cheer to Aviv with their covers of classics like “The First Noel,” “Winter Wonderland” and “Deck the Halls.” Merry Christmas, motherfucker.
8pm, Aviv, 496 Morgan Avenue, Greenpoint, $8

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